Never Eat Alone - How Relationship Expert Keith Ferrazzi Built His World Class Network

December 14, 2017
In this episode we discuss how to master relationships, go deep into cutting edge networking strategies from one of the world’s top connectors, examine how to unite people in collaboration and co-elevation, the power of generosity in building real and authentic relationships, how to let go of individualism, and much more with Keith Ferrrazi.
 
Keith Ferrazzi is the CEO and founder of Ferrazzi Greenlight and the best selling author of Who’s Got Your Back and Never Eat Alone. Keith’s Greenlight Research Institute has proven the correlation between specific practices that improve relationships, with business success. His work has been featured in several high profile publications including The Wall Street Journal, The Harvard Business Review, Inc, Fast Company, and around the globe.
  • Why you need to make the shift form networking to authentic relationship building
  • The importance of leading with generosity to build real authentic relationships
  • Are you still clinging to the rugged john wayne individualism and self focus?
    • Keith wants to shift that to recognition that the greatest things in our lives only happen via co-creation
  • Co-creation vs collaboration - it's one step beyond collaboration, going higher together
  • How do we commit to growing together in the process? 
  • Co-elevation is an emotional commitment
  • Traditional hierarchies and silos no longer serve us
  • You have to put in the work to bring about co-elevation and co-creation
  • Take full responsibility for all the relationships around you - take responsibility for making those people successful 
  • The victim mindset and how to defeat it
  • For someone stuck in a victim mindset - how do they start making the shift towards responsibility?
  • “What’s your blue flame?”
    • What really matters to others?
    • What drives success in their eyes?
    • How do you serve that?
  • Do you really know the blue flame of your boss? What does your boss truly care about?
  • How do you become a conduit for other people to achieve their goals? (And why that’s so important) 
  • Focus on fully understanding what a person needs, wants and how you can serve them
  • 2 Key shifts you have to make to get out of the victim mindset:
    • Understanding that it’s all on you to take action
    • Understand that it’s all about “them” (and the more broadly you define them, the more successful you will be)
  • You can’t unite people, you can’t achieve greatness, unless you know how to create “us"
  • Creating is the new competency of leadership
  • How do you invite this community into becoming a movement?
  • The 3 reason people don’t get on board with Co-creation
    • Laziness
    • Cowardice
    • Sense of Entitlement / Ego / Vindictiveness / Indulgence
  • You have no choice if you want to be successful other than to embrace relationship building
  • Practice is the KEY to building successful relationships and enabling co-creation
  • How success has impacted Keith’s networking tactics and strategies
  • As you become successful - the question becomes more and more about filtering and where to focus time and energy 
  • The earlier you practice, the more often you do it, the more concrete and impactful those behaviors will be 
  • All around you are extraordinary people - hang out with them and build them for the long term 
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Your Secret Weapon to Becoming Fearless with Jia Jiang

December 7, 2017
In this episode we explore rejection in depth. We talk about the incredible power of rejection, go deep into rejection therapy, look at the incredible results created by seeking out rejection and living beyond your comfort zone, talk about the magic of asking why, hear a few incredible stories from 100 days of rejection, and much more with our guest Jia Jiang. 
 
Jia Jiang is the founder 100 Days of Rejection and the author of Rejection Proof. In an effort to overcome his fear of rejection Jia spent 100 Days forcing himself into situation after situation where rejection was almost guaranteedJia has been featured on the TED Stage, Forbes, Business Insider, and much more.
 
  • Jia’s personal relationship with rejection
  • The misalignment between wanting to achieve and being afraid of rejection
  • The only way to overcome your fear is to embrace it and meet it head on
  • How to become a badass and become fearless
  • Saying no with grace - how to say no with grace
    • Show people alternatives
    • Give them something else / help them to get a yes in some way
    • Have respect
  • "Everything amazing and beautiful happens outside your comfort zone"
  • The amazing power of forcing yourself to constantly challenge and operate outside your comfort zone
  • The importance of understanding the vast majority will stay say no to you and why that doesn’t matter
    • It doesn’t matter when you get rejected
    • The few people that say yes make a huge impact - a real breakthrough
  • "How many yesses have I missed in my life?”
  • You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take
  • It’s not about getting a yes - it’s about EXPLORING and CREATING SOMETHING
  • The worst thing that can happen is you saying no to yourself
  • It’s about having fun and challenging yourself
  • Jia’s advice for someone who is afraid to take the first step
  • How to take the first step and overcome the inertia of facing your first rejection
  • Start small, just a little bit outside of your comfort zone, and grow
  • How you can even blend rejection therapy into your work and your career as well
  • If you ask enough, there is no request that will get rejected by everyone
  • What to do if you feel like you’re bothering people when you ask them for something
  • Be curious, don’t make your goal to get a yes - make your goal to ask 10 people 
  • Turning no into yes, and the magic of asking “why”
  • Ask people why they said no to you - find out what the reason is
  • What Jia learned from asking a stranger to plant a flower in his back yard
  • The power of doubt and empathy
  • Humor and positivity - don't take yourself too seriously
  • Give a stranger a high five! 
  • We go through a bunch of rapid rejection techniques you can use right now
  • You can do rejection therapy for FUN - or you can align it with you goals! 
  • Embrace rejection - rejection means something GOOD not something BAD
  • Rejection doesn’t mean you’re wrong - the stronger the rejcetion, the stronger your connection with people on the other side
  • The flip side of rejection is the power of people who are part fo your tribe
  • Jia’s Life Mission to the movement of rejection therapy 
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The Psychology Secrets of Extreme Athletes, NFL Teams & The World’s Top Performers with Dr. Michael Gervais

November 30, 2017
In this episode we explore what it takes to succeed at the highest possible levels, we get science and data from years in the trenches with top performers to uncover the strategies that really work for achieving results, we dig deep into the life long quest of discovering your own personal philosophy and much more with Dr. Michael Gervais. 
 
Dr. Michael Gervais - Michael is a high performance psychologist who trains mindset skills and practices that are essential to revealing one’s potential. Michael has worked with some of the world’s top performers including sports teams such as the Seattle Seahawks, Felix Baumgartner (The Red Bull Sponsored Athlete Who Completed the Stratosphere Jump)Olympians, musicians, and more! His work has been featured on ESPN, CNN, The New York Times, and much more!
 
NOTES:
 
  • Years in the trenches with top performers to get the best strategies
  • The importance of rugged and hostile environments to cultivating presence and peak performance
  • The value of working hard and getting right on the edge of capacity in order to grow
  • Our ancient brain is the thing that gets us stuck, keeps us safe, and keeps us small
  • The importance of stillness - the place where all of life happens
  • Expressing your authentic self in harmony with other people
  • There are only 3 things you can train as a human
    • You can train your body
    • You can train your craft - this varies by person - can be anything from writing to motorcross to partening
    • You can train your mind
    • Everything falls into those buckets when we talk about the development of the human experience
  • A personal philosophy is one of the most significant anchors you can ground yourself with. Great achievers always have clarity of personal philosophy
  • Line up your thoughts, words, and actions across any environment - there is a sense of power that comes from that - an inner knowing and being that is so rock solid that you can move eloquently in any environment when you have that mindset
  • The life-long quest of discovering your own personal philosophy - and the 3 methodologies
    • Mindfulness - being present with your inner experience
    • Being around wise people - people who are switched on, people who are having deep convos, talking about their philosophies, having those conversations
    • Writing - the art of writing, taking a thought and all the words in your native tongue and lock down these ideas and concepts
  • Start with putting your philosophy to memory, and then most importantly begin putting your philosophy into practice
  • There’s nothing new in the world of self help - the science is super clear - this is what we know to be true - you just have to do the work
  • Optimism is a foundational pillar for mental toughness, optimism is about how you think about your future
  • Optimism is a learned behavior - how to train it
    • Relentless belief that you can focus your mind on what’s good
    • First function - without awareness of inner dialogue you’re dead in the water - you must have meditation/mindfulness - train your inner experience to become more aware of thoughts and sensations
    • Second - Martin Seligman - focus on 3 good things - gratitude journal 
    • Become a researcher of amazing / researcher of good in your own life 
  • Mindfulness is the backbone that runs through all of these strategies
  • Going through difficult things doesn’t mean you will be traumatized - Post Traumatic Growth is also possible - How can you achieve post traumatic growth?
  • “Small t trauma” vs “Big T Trauma"
  • Resilience is at the center of growth - and the only way to become resilient is to go through difficult situations
  • The difficult things you go through either get you stuck or push you to the edge of growth.
  • In modern life for the average person  - the most dangerous thing is what people think of us
  • Getting uncomfortable is a requirement for you to be your best. This can be easily demonstrated with any world class performer from music to sports to any field.
  • Knowledge won’t carry us through - it's not about more information - that learning has to turn into application and action. Learning has to turn into insights - and those insights need to change your behavior
  • The 4 Pillars of Recovery
    • Sleeping well - the science is pretty clear - the commitment to doing that requires incredible discipline
    • Eating & Hydration are necessary pillars - colorful vegetables & clean protein 
    • Moving well - getting your body switched on, oxygenating your system - 6-7 hours of moderate to intense movement per week
    • Think Well - your mind is an incredible tool, but it also needs to be harnessed
  • Most people cannot even fathom the amount of vulnerability necessary to get to the truth - radical vulnerability - allowing the inner stuff to be revealed - is incredible, and so hard to do - most of us retreat to our normal patterns 
  • Doing difficult things expands your comfort zone
  • How do you strike the balance between achievement and non-attachment?
  • Winning is fun, winning pays bills - but the far deeper part of that is that the process of becoming - the process of knowing that you have what it takes, the process of being creative to solve problems on the fly and make decisions is much more fun. 
  • Winning is a requirement to keep going - but in order to cultivate non-attachment you have to be focused on the present moment
  • Practice is more important than the conceptual idea itself
  • What is your “craft" and why is it so important?
  • For most people who are not on the world stage - begs the question - what is my craft? It’s not as complicated as it sounds - what are you most passionate about - what is the thing you care so much about you love doing it, you put work into it?
  • Get back to seeing what we do from 9-5 as a primary craft - think about your work and your job as a craft
  • Social media has made us lose our way, lose our true north, lose our focus on our craft
  • Taking time to think about and articulate your personal philosophy - just starting WRITING “My personal philosophy is…” in 25 words or less - what do you stand for, what are you all about? What’s your true north, your compass?
  • Write down the people who have inspired you in life - and next to their names right down the characteristics that they expemplify - those characertics might be part of your philosophy
  • How you can engineer your inner experience
  • Mindfulness is not a relaxation training - it's a focus training 
  • That moment of awareness (that your mind has wandered) is the work taking place
  • Minimum effective dose is 6-8 minutes, optimal dose is 20 minutes
  • Compete to become the best version of yourself
  • Every day is an opportunity to create a living masterpiece 
  • And much more! 
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Introducing Tuesday Talks - The 80/20 Principle

November 28, 2017

We're extremely excited to introduce to you a new occasional segment of The Science of Success, Tuesday Talks!

Are you tired of all the BS and fluff that oftentimes accompanies personal development? Tuesday Talks delivers to you Evidence Based Growth tactics that are proven to work and deliver maximum impact in your life in under five minutes. 

In this episode, we dive into the 80/20 principle and the impact it can have on your life starting today. This principle can be applied to everything in life. By utilizing it the right way, you can ensure you are focusing on the right things, getting the most out of your time, and ultimately, begin producing more results than you ever thought possible. 

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Proven Practices For Building The Ultimate Competitive Advantage with Todd Davis

November 22, 2017
In this episode we discuss the proven strategies building effective relationships, why it’s vital to understand that the results you get in the world are a result of working with other people, how you can see the world from other people’s perspectives, tactics for building your credibility, how to get better feedback and much more with Todd Davis. 
 
Todd Davis is the Executive Vice President and Chief People Officer at Franklin Covey and author of the new book Get Better: 15 Proven Practices to Build Effective Relationships at Work. Todd is responsible for Franklin Covey’s global talent development in over 40 offices in 160 countries and previously served as director of innovations, developing many of the company’s core offerings.
 
  • The culture of an organization can make all the difference
  • The nature of relationships between people becomes a companies ultimate competitive advantage
  • Todd’s lessons from working with and coaching hundreds of companies and executives
  • What did Sarte mean when he said that “Hell is other people?”
  • The ultimate way you are measured is by the results you get
  • You get your results WITH and THROUGH and other people
  • What we see determines everything we do, and what we do determines the results we get
  • Consider stepping back and understanding that their may be a different way to view things - that can powerfully impact your relationships
  • Ask yourself “have you considered the other person’s perspective?”
  • An exercise can you use right now to start to see the world from other people’s perspectives
  • The power of examining your real motives
  • How to avoid the pitfall of self deception
  • Journaling exercise you can use to understand your real motives
  • “The Five Whys” - keep asking why until you get to the root cause
  • The most effective, successful, and influential people start with themselves first
  • Be the change you seek in others
  • Your circle of influence vs your circle of concern
  • Why you should focus your time, energy, effort, and resources on things that you can impact and control
  • The power of asking “Can you help me understand something?”
  • Start with humility - the power of having humility in dealing with tough conversations
  • Proactive, effective people don’t wait for feedback, they actively go and seek it out
  • The 4 common reasons why we don’t seek feedback (and what you can do about them)
  • A great opening line for dealing with tough conversations and situations 
  • Seeking validation vs actually seeking feedback
  • How to “behave your way to credibility”
  • The 2 key components for credibility - character and competence 
  • The importance of taking the long view when building credibility
  • An exercise you can use to build your credibility over the long term
  • The single biggest mistake of influencing other people - not “walking your talk”
  • Make sure someone deeply understands your intent
  • How to communicate effectively with someone who is in an emotional state 
  • When emotions are high - that’s not the moment to start addressing the problem
  • With people - "fast is slow and slow is fast"
  • Take the time to let someone share, just try to understand them 
  • The socratic method of influencing people - if you ask the right questions, seek understanding, and uncover the real issues - you can solve serious problems
  • Todd shares a personal story that deeply impacts the lessons we discuss in the show
  • In the end, relationships are the most important thing. 
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How To Learn More In Record Time - Speed Reading, Concentration, & Memory with Jim Kwik

November 16, 2017
In this episode we discuss how our guest went from a childhood head injury to becoming an accelerated learning expert. We cover memory, speed reading, improving your focus, taking notes like an expert and go deep into tactics for accelerated learning. We talk about the importance of mastering the fundamentals, and get into tons of highly specific and actionable advice you can use today with our guest Jim Kwik. 
 
Jim Kwik is the founder of Kwik Learning and Superhero You. Jim is a brain coach in speed reading, memory improvement, brain performance, and accelerated learning. Jim’s methods and work have been utilized by with several high profile companies including Nike, SpaceX, and GE, as well as individuals such as the Clintons, Oprah, Richard Branson and more.
 
  • We’ve discovered more in the last 20 years about the human brain than we learned in the 2000 years before that
  • How Jim went from growing up with learning challenges from an early childhood head injury to become an expert in accelerated learning and speed reading
  • How to read 30 books in 30 days
  • How we can actually retain what we read
  • Knowledge is not power, its only potential power 
  • The one super power you want to master in the 21st century (learn faster)
  • Traditional speed reeding, skimming, skipping words, getting the gist of something is not enough - its about fully capturing and retaining the information
  • The average person reads 1-2 books per year, but the average CEO reads 4-5 books per month
  • What Bill Gates said the #1 super power he would pick would be
  • Warren buffet said he wasted 10 years of his life reading too slowly
  • How you can gain 2 months of productive time per year
  • Why motivation is such a critical component of accelerated learning - have a purpose for why you read
  • "H-Cubed” - 3 things you need for motivation to have accelerated learning 
  • The fastest way to read something is not to read it at all - figured out what your end goal is
  • How you can remember names more effectively & become a great connector
  • If you forget someone’s name, you show that they’re not important to you
  • Self Awareness is a super power 
  • “Smart reading” - what’s your goal for reading these books?
  • How to give a speech without notes
  • Half of success is just mindset, then get the mechanics right
  • Brain Hacks for Speed Reading
  • “Leaders are readers” and why Jim thinks you should read 30 minutes per day 
  • 12 things Jim does every morning to jumpstart his brain
  • Mental fitness is as important, if not more important, than mental intelligence
  • If you read 45 minutes a day, on average, you should be able to read a book a week
  • Using a “visual pacer” and how that brain hack can help you instantly double your reading speed
  • The adventure of lifelong learning
  • One of the biggest traps in the personal development field is the “next new thing”
  • People who are truly on the path to Mastery focus on the fundamentals and get REALLY REALLY GOOD at the BASICS
  • How to get a 20-50% boost in your reading speed right now
  • Excellence comes down to a set of routines, rituals, and habits
  • If we always do the easy thing in life, life becomes hard, if we do the hard things, life becomes easy
  • BEMAT = behavior equals motivation ability and trigger
  • The primacy principle and the recency principle - and why you should chunk and take breaks to create more “beginnings and ends”
  • Start as simply as possible - pick up a book and read one word
  • "Upleveling your ability to process information” not just skimming - reading so that you understand 
  • Another brain hack - talk to someone else about what you just learned - we learn best by co-creating and sharing information
  • If you make everything important than nothing is important
  • It's not about reading slowly or quickly - its about reading for understanding - reading faster creates flow and focus 
  • Read for maximum comprehension and understanding for the goal you have for your reading
  • You can learn things faster by overcoming the forgetting curve - you forget 80% of what you’ve learned within 2 days
  • There is a difference between taking notes vs making notes - note taking is capturing ideas, note making is writing your impressions of what you’re capturing - you’re CREATING, questions you have, how it relates to what you already know, how you would teach it to someone else
  • Ultimately all learning comes down to associations - that’s why metaphors are so powerful
  • Mindmapping is an incredibly powerful strategy for you to remember concepts and ideas
  • Most successful people in any industry journal on a regular basis - journalling helps us retain information and make new associations to things
  • Brain hack - learn something with the intention of teaching someone else very specific - or think you were coaching someone or teaching them or giving a presentation on these topics. When you teach something you get to learn it twice. 
  • The FAST method - 4 strategies for learning anything more quickly
    • Forget what you already know about a subject (set it aside)
    • Active - be active about learning (doing problems, engaging your mind, etc). Learning is not a spectator sport. 
    • State - all learning is state dependent. Information + emotion becomes a long term memory. 
    • Teach - learn to benefit yourself and learn to teach others
  • Forget about your limitations - if you fight for your limitations, you get to keep them - add the word “yet” to negative self talk - be very careful to the words you put behind the words “I am”
  • Be a thermostat not a thermometer
  • To turn knowledge into real power - you have to schedule it into an activity and execute that 
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The Skeptics Guide To Meditation With Dan Harris

November 9, 2017
In this episode we discuss how our guest went from a hard-nosed skeptic who thought most self help was BS, to someone who uncovered the evidence based growth strategies that actually work. We talk about our guest’s journey from meeting self help gurus, to spiritual teachers, and neuroscientists to discover the biggest lessons about improving your mind and body, and the simple, scientifically validated tool that evidence demonstrates is the best way to be happier with Dan Harris. 
 
Dan Harris is a correspondent for ABC News and the co-anchor for the weekend edition of Good Morning America. Dan regularly contributes to Nightline, 20/20, and World News and has covered stories from all over the world including war reporting in Afghanistan and Iraq as well as investigative reports in Haiti, Cambodia, the Congo and more. Dan is the author of the book 10% Happier and his work has been featured in the New York Times, The Washington Post, Dr. OZ, Good Morning America, and much more.
 
  • How Dan went from being a skeptical hard-nosed reporter who thought meditation and self was was largely “bullshit”
  • What happened when Dan had a panic attack in front of 5 million people on Live TV
  • What it’s like to have your mind get hijacked by the most boring person alive
  • Dan’s journey of visiting self help gurus, religious leaders, neuroscientists and more led him to one major conclusion about how to improve your brain and your body
  • How many self help gurus are correct, but often not useful in a practical sense
  • Simple and scientifically validated tool to deal with the voice in your head
  • The secrets of "contemplative neuroscientists"
  • How to train up the ability to focus, deal with emotions, be nice to other people, be nice to yourself, have patience, and be grateful
  • The radical notion, supported by research, that you can literally train and transform your brain to prime it for happiness
  • Happiness is skill, according to the science, and it can be trained
  • There are thousands of kinds of meditation and it’s not useful to get overly dogmatic about the superiority of one method over the other
  • Dan gravitates towards mindfulness meditation because it has valuable and strong research supporting it
  • The basic and simple strategy you can use to start meditating RIGHT NOW
  • You don’t need to clear your mind - clearing your mind is impossible
  • Think about meditation like going to the gym - if you’re not sweating and panting you're not doing it right, meditation is like bicep curls for the brain
  • The whole game of meditation is have the collision with the voice in your head and return to breath
  • How to defeat anxiety, depression, and panic attacks using meditation
  • What to do if you don’t have enough time to meditate
  • The false belief that meditation is self indulgent and a waste of time
  • The myth that you will lose your edge if you start meditating
  • The different between responding wisely and reacting blindly
  • How do we strike a balance between acceptance/mindfulness and achievement?
  • Non-attachment to results - you are not fully in control of the universe - everything is interconnected and multifactorial - the wise stance for an ambitious person is to recognize that you shouldn’t be attached to results
  • How do we battle back from nihilism if we go to deep down the path of buddhism?
  • We do have some agency to impact the universe, but we aren’t the master of the universe
  • The importance of seeing things as they are instead of as you want them to be
  • It’s not about perfection its about marginal improvement,  a 10% improvement compounds
  • Meditation is simple but not easy
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The Ancient Molecule You Can Use To Unlock Peak Performance with Dr. Paul Zak

November 2, 2017
In this episode we discuss the groundbreaking research behind the ancient molecule that fuels peak performance, the foundations of neuroeconomics, how our brains react during social interactions, we examine how our brains are designed to connect and built to work cooperatively, we dig into the power of oxytocin and how you can increase it in your life, and much more with Dr. Paul Zak.
 
Dr. Paul Zak is founding Director of the Center for Neuroeconomics Studies and Professor of Economics, Psychology, and Management at Claremont Graduate University. He was also among the team of scientists who were the first to use brain imaging to identify the role of oxytocin as a key driver of trust, love, and morality that distinguish our humanity. Paul is the author of the new book Trust Factor: The Science of Creating High-Performance Companies and has appeared on ABC World News, CNN, Fox Business, and more.
 
  • Paul founded the field of Neuroeconomics - what is that?
  • How are humans able to interact with total strangers when that is impossible in the animal kingdom?
  • How do our brains balance the risks of meeting a stranger vs the benefits of increased social influence?
  • Our brains live in this soup of chemicals, none of which we are aware of consciously
  • How Paul’s groundbreaking research transformed what scientists thought about the production of oxytocin and how humans build trust 
  • Testosterone inhibits oxytocin synthesis
  • People are complicated, its important to have a lot of acceptance 
  • Oxytocin is an on/off switch
  • Paul challenges the listeners to a fight! 
  • Our brains naturally help us adapt to the environment we are in
  • How do we get people in groups to perform at their highest level
  • How you can train your brain to release more oxytocin
  • Learn how to read the emotional state of the people around you
  • “All research is me-search”
  • How “listening with your eyes” can help boost your oxytocin and help you become more in sync with people
  • The “evil trick” you can use to get tons of information when you meet someone (it’s NOT what you expect!)
  • Our brains are designed to connect, we want to be connected. We are naturally open to touch. Our brains are built to work cooperatively. 
  • Strategies you can use in your daily life to increase your oxytocin 
  • How companies can measure and manage their culture for high trust and high performance
  • The 8 key building blocks leaders can use to build trust and improve high performance
  • Paul focuses on measuring brain activity and use that to solve real problems that humans have.
  • Its all about empowering humans to be their best selves
  • The neuroscience firmly demonstrates the power and vital importance of sleep 
  • How you can implement concrete changes to get the biggest bang for your buck in building a culture of high performance
  • We trust people more who are their real, vulnerable, natural selves
  • Why you should replace “how was your weekend” with “hey you look really <insert emotion on their face>” to build deeper relationships
  • Almost no human can survive on their own - we only survive in groups - we must understand how to engage the groups that we are constantly around
  • Science predicts, and data strongly supports, that people want to be and enjoy being part of high performance groups
  • Relationships are super important 
  • Why isn’t work an adventure? How can we make a work an adventure
  • Connecting, touching, giving a gift - give the gift of connection, empowerment, love, to someone around you
  • Effective social behaviors are rooted in SERVICE and serving others
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How You Can Use Behavioral Design To Create Any Habit You Want with Nir Eyal

October 26, 2017
In this episode we discuss How To Use “Mind Control” Techniques to Create Any Habit You Want, why we are driven much more by pain than pleasure, the “hook” model for describing human behavior, how to hack your rewards to change your behavior, the power of tiny amounts of friction, and much more with Nir Eyal. 
 
Nir Eyal is an expert in “behavioral design” having worked in both advertising and video gaming helping companies build and create more engaging products. Nir is the Wall Street Journal bestselling author of the book Hooked: How To Build Habit Forming Products and has been featured in Forbes, Psychology Today, and more. Nir is an active angel investor and currently writes to help companies create good habit and behaviors in their users on his blog NirandFar.com.
 
We discuss:
 
  • Persuasion, mind control, and behavioral design
  • What is a habit and how do you define it?
  • How we can leverage technology to build healthier habits
  • How 50% of your actions take place with little or no unconscious thought
  • Internal vs External triggers 
  • There is only one reason you use a product or service - to modulate your mood - that’s it
  • Our behaviors are driven NOT by seeking of pleasure, but rather the quelling of a unconformable emotion 
  • Figure out what your frequently occurring internal triggers are
  • We are driven more by PAIN than by PLEASURE
  • There’s no end to what we can accomplish if we can understand that pain is our primary motivator
  • Even seeking pleasure = satisfying the PAIN of WANTING
  • The power of the unknown to draw us in 
  • The 4 stages of the “Hook” Model on how Habits are formed and sustained
  • Rewards are actually wanting to quell the “stress of desire”
  • Discomfort drives us to action
  • How the same mental hardwiring behind addiction also underpins love and desire
  • The easier you can make a behavior the more likely people are to do it
  • The biggest thing that drives people to adopt technology is making life EASIER
  • Reward itself doesn’t have much impact on your brain, its the anticipation of the reward that drives us 
  • 3 Kinds of Variable Rewards
    • Rewards of the Tribe
    • Rewards of the Hunt
    • Rewards of the Self
  • The power of adaptability
  • Belief is as much of a factor in addiction as physical dependency itself
  • How making a behavior just a little bit easier can have dramatic results
  • How to put the hook model in reverse and destroy bad habits
  • How putting space between steps in your habit loop can create massive changes
  • Even small amounts of friction can change the marginal decision and make a habit much harder
  • How can you make bad habits more difficult, take longer, or be harder to do?
  • How you can use “temptation bundling” to break the hold of variable rewards in your habit loop
  • Never do something when you don’t have the end in sight - do things that have a finite END so that you don’t get hooked
  • Key question you must ask yourself: Is this technology serving ME, or am I serving IT?
  • One simple piece of advice to implement the ideas discussed in this interview right away
  • How to leverage technology to combat technology that is distracting you 
00:0000:00

How This Astronaut Survived Going Blind In Space & Tools for Crushing Fear with Chris Hadfield

October 19, 2017
In this episode, we discuss what happened when our guest astronaut Chris Hadfield went blind during a space walk - and how he made it out alive. We talk about the mental toughness necessary to survive extremely dangerous situations like that, discuss in depth how astronauts deal with fear, look at the vital importance of powerful training to deal with huge risks, and much more with  Chris Hadfield.
 
Chris Hadfield, who the BBC called “the most famous astronaut since Neil Armstrong" has been a part of several space missions with the Canadian Space Agency and NASA. He served as Chief of Robotics and Chief of International Space Station Operations. Chris was the first Canadian to command the International Space Station and was awarded the NASA Exceptional Service Medal and inducted to the Canadian Aviation Hall Of Fame. In addition to his work as an engineer and astronaut Chris is an author, musician, and speaker.
 
We discuss:
 
  • The 3 key things that enabled chris to make it all the way through the astronaut selection process
  • How Chris survived going BLIND during a space walk in outer space!!
  • How astronauts rescue incapacitated crew in outer space
  • How to cultivate the mental toughness to survive the most dangerous situations imaginable
  • The learned and trained ability to deal with extremely complex circumstances
  • Why Chris was an astronaut for 21 years and only spent 6 months in space, thats how important training is
  • In outer space, you can’t count on luck, you count on your own learned ability to deal with the probable things that could go wrong
  • How NASA develops training programs to do everything possible to be successful
  • The vital importance of visualizing failure and understanding what could go wrong
  • The importance of practicing the 10,000 things that could go wrong
  • Astronauts don’t visualize success, they practice for failure, all the time
  • Visualize failure, incrementally improve, don't count on luck
  • NASA’s Recipe for Success
  • The relationship between DANGER and FEAR
  • Things aren't’ scary, but people get scared
  • Things don’t change whether or not you are afraid of them - the ONLY question is whether or not you are prepared
  • Preparation is the antidote to fear, if you’re ready, you won’t be afraid
  • Your body’s physiology reacts to being unprepared to a dangers situation with a reaction we simply call “fear”
  • FEAR = LACK OF PREPARATION
  • Perpetual fear = STRESS (and overwhelm)
  • Ask yourself “what thing am I not prepared for that is causing me stress?"
  • Listen to fear, but don’t keep fear from allowing you to dictate your life
  • How do you change your own threshold of fear?
  • How to overcome your fear of spiders!
  • Recognize real threats through the noise of the non threats
  • if you dont know what to be afraid fo, then your afraid of everything
  • the difference between belief and knowledge
  • If you're afraid of a jaguar, should you be afraid of a kitten?
  • One of the ways to increase your own significance is to exaggerate your problems
  • Why the perception that the world is more dangerous now than ever is fundamentally flawed
  • "The Sky is Not The Limit"
  • Life is TOUGH and the earth is TOUGH - it’s been here for 4.5 billion years
  • The perspective of an astronaut viewing the entire world from above
  • The shared nature of human existence
  • Why Chris recommends that you should “aim to be a zero”
  • Take the time to get informed, understand what is happening, and then take action
  • The building is very seldom on fire, yet we always treat it like it is
  • In space, ”there is no problem so bad, that you can’t make it worse”
  • Don’t just accept your fear, understand WHY, dig in, and treat it clinically - whats the REAL danger, whats the REAL problem I’m trying to solve, how can I change who I am to solve that problem / challenge better, what skill am I lacking? Why am I allowing myself to be terrified? 
  • How can I change myself to move beyond fear
  • Fear is a destructive long term solution to anything
00:0000:00

Hack Your Biochemistry To Create Spontaneous Weight Loss and Improved Mental Health by Dr. Kulreet Chaudhary

October 12, 2017
In this episode we discuss how neurology's perspective on the brain fundamentally ignores the health of the entire system, we look at your gut biome’s role in depression, mood regulation and how the microbiome controls your behavior and emotions, we ask why it is so hard for people to break negative eating habits, talk about the biochemistry of addiction, the incredible importance of understanding your microbiome and gut health with Dr. Kulreet Chaudhary. 
 
Dr. Kulreet Chaudhary is a neuroscientist and Ayurveda expert. She has participated in over 20 clinical research studies working with new stem cell therapies for diabetic neuropathy and drug development for the treatment of ALS. Dr. Chaudhary is the author of The Prime: Prepare and Repair Your Body for Spontaneous Weight Loss, and is a regular guest on the Dr. Oz show!
 
  • How Dr. Chaudhary’s personal experience led her down the path of integrative medicine
  • The health of the brain is highly dependent on the health of the gut
  • Auyerveda is the oldest recorded medical system in the world - one of the oldest forms of “lifestyle medicine"
  • Why food is medicine
  • The way you live dictates whether you are sick or healthy
  • Disease is a result of imbalance and can be cured by changing habits
  • How the Neurologist’s perspective on the brain fundamentally ignores the health of the entire system
  • Dr. Chaudhary’s perspective on how eastern & integrative medicine can be integrated with western science to form a more holistic solution for health
  • Tumeric is a great example of a spice that has scientifically demonstrated health benefits
  • Micro-biome & gut health underpins huge medical issues
  • Western medicine is just now catching up with insights from 5000 year old holistic medicines
  • 90% of your serotonin comes from your gut and gut health is a major factor in depression 
  • Scientifically, the mind and mental health are deeply connected and directly related gut health
  • Why is it so hard for people to break negative eating habits? Is it really just a question of willpower?
  • The neurochemistry and biochemistry that underpins negative eating habits
  • Your micro biome itself can shift your eating habits and make you desire and consume certain foods
  • The science behind how addictions form in our brains (especially food addictions)
  • Why 85% of people cannot change the way they are eating with willpower
  • The biochemistry of addiction and food addiction & the role dopamine plays 
  • How food scientists have engineered junk food to produce massive dopamine spikes
  • The dangers of overstimulated dopamine receptors and how they lead to addiction
  • An obese person’s brain chemistry responds the same way to sugar as a cocaine addict responds to cocaine
  • Environmental toxins and toxic inflammation and how they impact your body
  • Enteric nervous system - the “brain inside your gut” which produces 95% of the serotonin and 50% of the dopamine in your body
  • “The gut does most of the talking and the brain does most of the listening”
  • Who dictates the content of what the gut says? The Microbiome 
  • "How smart is your gut?"
  • How fecal matter transplants in mice can completely reverse genetically engineered personality traits
  • Research clearly demonstrates that your micro-biome controls your behavior and emotions
  • We are still in the infancy of discovering and understanding the microbiome - there is a lot of “noise” that’s hard to understand
  • The importance of taking an individualized approach to gut health - its not always about taking probiotics or fermented food
  • The most foundational steps to implement in order to improve your gut health
  • The simplest interventions are usually the most powerful
  • How Tumeric has helped reduced Alzheimers disease by 75% in India
  • Foods and spices are more interactive than the “unilateral” approach of western medicines - interacting with multiple cells and systems, rather than a hyper focused intervention
  • We discuss a variety of herbs and supplements that Dr. Chaudhary recommends to improve your gut health and microbiome
  • The environment can interact with your genes to change genetic expression
  • Dr. Chaudhary’s work as a neurologist revealed many of the same conclusions from Auyervedic medicine
  • How your genes interact with the environment, including what you’re eating, to create the outcomes in your life
00:0000:00

The Military Influence Training that Maps Out Human Weakness, Harnesses Confusion, and Triggers Obedience in Others With Chase Hughes

October 5, 2017
In this episode we discuss the darker side of how the US military influences human behavior - we touch on brainwashing, reading human body language, creating Manchurian candidates, how this one psychological bias can convince strangers to murder someone more than 80% of the time, how to profile someone and search for their weaknesses, and much more with Chase Hughes. 
 
Chase Hughes is the founder of Ellipsis Behavior Laboratories and the amazon bestselling author of The Ellipsis Manual. Chase previously served in the US Navy as part of the correctional and prisoner management departments. Chase speaks on a variety of topics including brainwashing and attraction and frequently develops new programs for the US Government and members of anti human-trafficking teams around the world.
 
We discuss:
 
  • How seeing "how weak and vulnerable everyone was" transformed Chase’s worldview
  • Is it possible to create real world Manchurian candidates? 
  • Why you’re grossly underestimating the work necessary to read human body language and understand human behavior
  • Why the typical strategies of influence won’t work unless you can profile and understand the individual - and tailor what you’re saying and doing to meet that individuals weaknesses and needs
  • One of the best things you can start doing every single day
  • Simple questions you can use to “disengage someone from autopilot” and break the pattern they are stuck in
  • How you can develop “FIC" to hack human behavior 
    • Focus
    • Interest
    • Curiosity
  • The “RAS” - reticular activation system - constantly looking for things that are threats and things that are socially valuable
  • Social authority and perceived authority are more important than influence in shaping human behavior
  • How the Milgrim experiment fundamentally demonstrates the incredible power of the authority bias
  • The one strategy that can be effective influencing strangers to commit murder more than 80% of the time
  • The 5 key factors you can use to hack authority and trigger an “obedient” response
    • Dominance / ambition 
    • Discipline
    • Leadership
    • Gratitude
    • Fun /  sense of adventure
  • When we interact with authority we go through an “agentic” shift - our brain shifts responsibility for our own actions onto the person who instructed us to do it - you can make people take extreme behaviors if you get them to give YOU responsibility for their actions
  • Master yourself first before you can influence others
    • Master environment first
    • Master your time - keeping a plan and sticking to it
    • Master the mechanics of your habits
    • Master your attention span
  • Tactics for mastering authority today
    • Express genuine interest in other people and make them feel INTERESTING not interested
    • Remember the phrase - LEADERSHIP through SUPPORT
  • The people who think they are alpha males are usually NOT the alpha male - big dogs don’t feel the need to bark
  • The Columbo method - make deliberate social errors, be vulnerable, start with an insecurity - that helps open people up to influence
  • Chase offers a challenge to you - Talk to a stranger every single day. And once that gets easy, you have to push out your comfort zone even further. 
  • The Texas crosswalk study - why wearing a suit makes you more likely to get people to follow you than wearing jeans
  • Why you should ask unique questions and do unique things
  • The 3 tools you can use to develop a profile of anyone
  • There’s no vaccination to being socially vulnerable - if you become socially invulnerable it makes you a nasty person - it diminishes your ability to connect with others and takes away your ability to feel empathy and anxiety for others. 
  • Be completely real with your self, and with others, as it can help build more genuine connections 
  • Trying to manage your own behavior and body language really starts to suck up alot of your own “CPU power” and Chase doesn't recommend it 
  • How you can watch a video of an interview or interrogation - using this special tool - and decode the behavior and determine 
  • Why a polygraph is usually no better than a coin toss and is typically biased against people telling the truth
  • How Conan Obrien can help you become a better human lie detector
  • Simple exercises you can use to start RIGHT NOW to develop an understanding of human body language and behavior 
  • The concept of embedded commands and how you can use them to make a person have a thought without it being conscious of it
  • Confusion statements and embedded commands - they will go straight to the subconscious
  • Why you should ask yourself "What does this person like to be complimented on, what makes them feel significant”
  • And much more! 
00:0000:00

How This Government Agency Spy Recruiter Hacked Psychology To Change Anyone’s Behavior with Robin Dreeke

September 28, 2017
How this FBI spy recruiter hacked evolutionary psychology to learn to change anyone’s behavior, 5 steps for “strategizing” trust, how to get someone’s brain to reward them for engaging with you, the vital importance of self awareness, the power of not keeping score, and much more with Robin Dreeke. 
 
Robin began his career in law enforcement in 1997 after serving in the United States Marine Corp. Robin has directed the behavior analysis program of a federal law enforcement agency and has received training and operational experience in social psychology and the science of relationship management. Robin is currently an agent of the FBI and the author of “It’s Not All About “Me”” and the upcoming book The Code of Trust.
 
  • How Robin went from being a hard charging type-a individual to learning the principles of actually inspiring people and changing behavior
  • Robin’s main job was to recruit spies
  • How manipulating, pressuring, bullying people doesn’t work - and why learning that lessons in counter-intelligence is one of the most powerful places to learn the lesson
  • The Art Form of Inspirating Anyone and Getting them to do what you want
  • The New Car Effect - and what that has to do with influencing and inspiring anyone
  • "Strategizing Trust" - the five steps of trust 
  • How the old conception of leadership is flawed and ineffective
  • How being hard charging, type-a, and in your face is backwards from what you need to be successful
  • How the crucible of counter-intelligence doesn’t afford you the luxury of making mistakes - and the strategies that come out of that for influencing others
  • When people don’t have to talk to you and don’t care about your title and position - you have to find the strategies that work
  • The vital importance of self awareness and honest self assessment
  • What you think you’re projecting to the world is often not what the world is seeing
  • How ego, vanity, and insecurities can hijack what you say and do
  • Listen to the people around you, take feedback, and learn how you can change
  • How strategies of inspiration and influence focus almost exclusively on the other person
  • Focus on other people, what their priorities are, and what’s important to them - that’s how you can change their behavior and influence them
  • Why should someone want to talk to you, listen to you, and do what you want?
  • Think in terms of inspiring other people, not manipulating them
  • You have to know what someone’s priorities are, and you have to speak about things in relation to their priorities
  • How seeking other people's thoughts and opinions can help you neurobiologically build trust with them
  • Leaders don’t keep scorecards. Give and let go. And wait. 
  • When you honor the healthy and happy relationships - everything falls into place and flows very easily
  • How to get someone’s brain to reward them for engaging with you
  • Honesty is one of the critical factors 
  • Why you shouldn’t convince, cajole, and manipulate people
  • How the FBI spy recruits hacked evolutionary psychology to learn to change anyone’s behavior
  • What is manipulation? 
  • How the use of lies and deception can destroy trust forever
  • Why it’s important to understand that Robin is not judging the right or wrong of any of these strategies - its just a question of what’s the most effective
  • It cost nothing to make it about other people and its one of the simplest strategies in the world - and can have a huge impact on your ability to influence and inspire 
  • Become an available resource for other people’s prosperity
  • How we can become non-judgemental and cultivate nonjudgemental validation
  • Don’t judge, but seek to understand - everyone has a reason that they believe what they believe in 
  • When you dig in, you start getting context for someone’s understanding of reality, and that helps build tolerance
  • You are the cause of most of the negative interactions in your life
  • Most people do not care what’s important to you - they care about their own priorities
  • How to recognize and prevent yourself from getting emotionally hijacked
  • The core principles of the code of trust
  • Great leaders are very empathetic and focused on OTHER people
  • Why Robin doesn’t give advice or guidance, he only asks discovery questions
  • The 5 principles of trust
    • Suspend your ego
    • Be nonjudgemental
    • Honor Reason
    • Validate Others
    • Be Generous
  • The CORE of the Code
    • Happy healthy relationships
    • open honest communication
    • available resource for the prosperity of others
  • Why should discover the GREATNESS of others - don’t focus on what people are doing wrong, focus on their greatness and what they are doing RIGHT
  • How to make relationships bloom - find out what other people’s priorities are, their needs, wants, aspirations and dreams.
00:0000:00

Do You Have To Be Ruthless To Succeed? The Truth About Survival Of The Fittest with Dr. Chris Kukk

September 21, 2017
In this episode we ask "do you have to be ruthless to succeed?”, we examine how compassion is powerfully linked with success, we discuss the essential task of challenging your own world view and seeking evidence you disagree with, learn how to ask great questions, and much more with Dr. Chris Kukk. 
 
Dr. Chris Kukk is a former counter intelligence agent, now a professor of Political and Social Science at Western Connecticut State University. He is the founding Director of the Center for Compassion, Creativity, and Innovation. He is the author of the newly released book The Compassionate Achiever and has been featured on NPR, NBC, The Economist, and more
 
  • Social and emotional learning and how Chris is using that to transform early childhood education
  • How positivity and compassion can spread from the bottom up to change schools
  • The neuroscience behind how compassion helps children learn more effectively
  • Why cultivating personal awareness is the first step to mastery
  • With meditation you catch more than you miss, without it, you miss more than you catch
  • What did Charles Darwin have to say about how compassion impacts the “survival of the fittest”
  • How a focus on helping one another moves society forward
  • Why the conception of compassion as “soft” or “weak” is completely wrong
  • How compassion is powerfully linked with success
  • Mother Theresa’s “Ripple of Kindness” 
  • Do you have to be ruthless in order to succeed?
  • Compassion enables you to have sustained success
  • Lessons from Enron
  • What psychology and neuroscience studies show about extrinsic focus vs intrinsic focus on your achievement
  • How Utah has saved money by pursuing a policy of compassion in solving homelessness
  • The “4 step program” for cultivating compassion that you can start implementing right now
  • The power of “LUCA”
  • The power of listening to learn instead of listening to reply
  • The definition of compassion - understanding and taking action
  • How we can “understand to know” and build a deeper mosaic of understanding to find common solutions to our problems
  • Connecting to capabilities, reaching beyond yourself to help people with the human potential hidden in plain sight
  • The essential task of challenging your own world view and seeking disconfirming evidence 
  • All feedback makes you stronger, ideology fears the truth, wisdom seeks it 
  • The buddhist concept of “fierce compassion”
  • Remember, water cuts through rock over time
  • What are “knownaughts” and “noxxers”?
  • The power of connection to make your success limitless
  • How do we ask great questions (and why its so important to do that)?
  • The great question is like the lens of a camera, the aperture shapes what you see on the other side
  • The words that you use frame the way you see a problem
  • How silence can open up doorways for deeper understanding
  • Lessons from counter intelligence interrogations about how we can become better listeners
  • The power of "nondoing"
  • Practical steps you can implement right now to begin walking the path of compassion
00:0000:00

Break Your Phone Addiction (& Your Other Bad Habits) With Charles Duhigg

September 14, 2017
In this episode we discuss habit loops, how they form, and what they are, we look at why you can’t stop picking up your phone (I know that’s definitely a challenge for me), the habits and routines that research shows are most correlated with success, how to bake mental models into your brain, and much more with Charles Duhigg.
 
Charles is a Pulitzer Prize-winning columnist and senior editor at The New York Times. Charles is the author of “The Power of Habit,” which spent over two years on the New York Times best-seller list, and more recently “Smarter Faster Better,” also a New York Times best seller. Charles graduated from Yale University, Harvard Business School and has been featured in This American Life, N.P.R, Frontline, and much more.
 
We discuss:
 
  • Habit Loops, what they are and how they form
  • 40-45% of what we do every single day is not a decision it's a habit
  • Emotional cue for checking your phone and "novelty seeking"
  • How your brain makes that behavior automatic because it's delivering a reward
  • How to break habits
  • What Reward are you seeking? Get as specific as possible
  • Figure out the REWARD, then reprogram the HABIT
  • Keystone habits and how they can transform your identity and create a chain reaction
  • Why it's that the most successful people work harder, they just think differently
  • The rituals and habits of people who are more productive
  • Why its not being smarter, its not working harder, its not going to the right schools - the research shows that what correlates the MOST with success is that the people who are most successful tend to have “contemplative routines”, habits in their lives that push them to think more deeply
  • Journaling is a great example of a contemplative routine that can make you be more productive
  • Being busy and being productive are not synonymous
  • Thinking has always been the killer "productivity app"
  • The story of Quantas Flight 32
  • Maintaining focus while in the middle of a crashing airplane and how to cultivate situational awareness
  • How Firefighters develop ESP
  • Building a story, a mental model of a situation, and how that can shape your situational awareness
  • The vital importance of building mental models
00:0000:00

How You Can CRUSH Self Sabotage with Dr. Gay Hendricks

September 7, 2017
In this episode we discuss how you can fall into cycles of self sabotage and constantly reset your happiness down to where you think it should be, lessons learned from coaching over 20,000 people, how to crush upper limit problems and break through the beliefs holding you back, the questions you need to discover and live in your zone of genius, and much more with Dr. Gay Hendricks. 
 
Dr. Gay Hendricks is the president of the Hendricks Institute, he earned his Ph.D in counselling psychology from Stanford and taught at the university of Colorado for 21 years and conducted seminars across the globe. He is also a multi bestselling author, having written more than 40 books and his work has been featured on CNN, CNBC, Oprah, and more.
 
We discuss:
 
  • Gay’s "encounter with destiny" and how it “knocked him out” of his usual way of thinking
  • Lessons from training thousands of counselors and coaches to help people transform their lives
  • Lessons from counseling and coaching over 20,000 individuals!
  • How Gay went from 300+ lbs, smoking 2-3 packs of cigarettes per day, and transformed his entire life
  • The two “big ideas” from the Big Leap
    • Upper Limit Problems
    • Occupying your Zone of Genius
  • What are "Upper Limit Problems?"
  • How to Occupying your “Zone of Genius"
  • Success is not just financial - focusing only on financial success puts your out of balance
  • Often times its not the lack of business skills that stifle us, its lack of heart centric communication skills
  • If you’re able to bring forth what is within you, it will pave the path to success - but if you keep your emotions in, you stifle yourself
  • How a tiny bit of misalignment can create echos and rattles throughout your life
  • How we fall into cycles of self sabotage to “reset” our happiness down to where we think it should be
  • We often manufacture fears, stresses, and anxieties to stop ourselves from feeling good
  • The core fears you experience underpinning that Upper Limit Problem
  • #1 The Fear of Outshining
  • #2 The Fear of Being Fundamentally Flawed
  • Upper limit problems are rooted in fear - unless we come to terms with those - we cannot actualize our full potential
  • How to explore, lovingly, your own fears and limitations
  • The concept of having enough vs having plenty 
  • #3 The Fear of Leaving Behind or being disloyal to the people you care about
  • Do you ever feel like “things are going too well, now something bad is going to happen”
  • Focusing on what can go wrong is useful if we TAKE ACTION about it, but if we can’t act on it, its just useless worrying
  • The “quick fix” for blame and criticism - get underneath the blame, own what you’re afraid of that is causing that blame and talk about it openly and honestly 
  • How to fix broken relationships and heal communication problems in 10 minutes or less
  • Self criticism is rooted in FEAR - something you’re afraid of in yourself, or something your afraid to communicate to someone else - what is it that im basically afraid of?
  • The role shame plays in self criticism and how to find your original shaming
  • Is Life Suffering as the Buddha said?
  • Can honesty (with ourselves and our relationships) reduce suffering?
  • Begin an open hearted, open mind inquiry into what you really want
  • Ultimate success mantra - I expand in love, abundance, creativity, and success every day as I inspire other people to expand in love, abundance, success, and creativity! 
  • The idea of happiness thermostat
  • Shine in your life the way you want to shine, not in reference to other people
  • Human beings have no idea what their full potential is once they shatter their upper limits
  • Using a Lear Jet to plow a potato field
  • The Zone of Incompetence vs The Zone competence vs the Zone of Excellence vs the Zone of Genius
  • The questions you need to discover and live in your zone of genius
  • Even the CEOs of Fortune 500 companies have blocks to their zones of genius
  • “All of human beings problems come from an inability to sit in a room by ourselves doing nothing”
  • Your zone of genius is a positive addiction - focused on actualizing your life’s purpose 
  • How to get out negative addictions like worrying and overeating
  • The success mantra you can use to push yourself into your zone of genius every day
  • And much more!
00:0000:00

How You Can Come Alive And Unleash Your Brilliance with Simon T. Bailey

August 31, 2017
In this episode we look at why your definition of success might be hurting you - and how you can redefine it in a much healthier way, examine the power of intellectual humility, talk about what it means to provide value and how to do it, we go deep into the power of listening, why its so important, and discuss 3 strategies you can use to become a better listener, we explore the concept of brilliance as well as how you can unlock your own brilliance in 30 seconds, and much more with Simon T. Bailey.
 
Simon T. Bailey is the CEO of Simon T. Bailey International an education company that specializes in creating learning and development content for individuals and organizations. Simon is a hall of fame keynote speaker and is one of the top 10 most booked corporate speakers on Leadership, Change, and Customer Experience and will be the emcee at the upcoming SUCCESS Live Event in September!
 
  • Why your definition of success might be hurting you - and how you can redefine it in a much healthier way. 
  • Why success is about others and not just yourself
  • Intellectual humility and why it’s so important 
  • Questions to put yourself on the path towards true success:
    • What would I do if I knew that I couldn't fail?
    • What would I do if no one paid me to do it?
    • What makes me come alive?
  • Don't ask what the world needs, ask what makes you come alive - the world needs people who come alive
  • When you stop chasing money, money will chase you.
  • How to create an “exit strategy” to test your ideas and pursue your dreams
  • Can (and should) you quit your job and play videos games all day?
  • We are now in a recommendation economy - people will tell other people if you are excellent
  • What it means to provide value to the world and how you can do it:
    • Going above and beyond, exceeding expectations, doing more than people expect of you
    • Listen and discover ways to exceed expectations
  • Meta Listening and why you should often slow down in order to speed up
  • Hearing is a courtesy, listening is a compliment 
  • The 3 levels of listening & Why listening shows the person that they matter
  • Why it’s not good to “need to be the smartest person in the room”
  • Why needing to prove something can be one of your greatest mistakes
  • People don’t care how much you know, until they know how much you care
  • How to practice intellectual humility
    • Release the need to be right
    • Understand the power of diversity of opinion & perspective
    • Find someone who is willing to say no and challenge your ideas
  • How to step outside your comfort zone and seek disconfirming opinions
  • 3 Exercises you can use to step outside your comfort zone
  • Simon’s strategy for reaching 1 billion people around the globe
  • Brilliance - what it is, why its important - and what Harvard research says about it 
  • How society has eroded our innate brilliance 
  • Within the next decade millions of knowledge worker jobs will be eliminated due to automation
  • How you can unlock your own brilliance in 30 seconds
  • There will never be a perfect time for you to do it, just do it
  • The concept of emotional congruence
  • Language is the software of the mind - your words carry energy and create worlds
  • How to rehearse the future in the present
  • "15-7-30-90"
  • You decide your habits, and your habits decide your future
  • Answer the question “WHY AM I HERE?”
  • Do you have a 20 year strategic life plan?
00:0000:00

The Surprising Science Behind Why Everything You Know About Success Is (Mostly) Wrong with Eric Barker

August 24, 2017
In this episode we ask what really produces success by looking at what separates truly successful people from the rest, we examine many common and conflicting “success maxims” and look at what the data actually says really works, we dig deep into the vital importance of knowing yourself and your own strengths, look at the power of aligning your work with your environment, and discuss the dangers of constantly overcommitting your time with Eric Barker.
 
Eric Barker is the creator of the blog “Barking Up The Wrong Tree” - with over 290,000 subscribers.  His work is syndicated by Time Magazine, Business Insider and he has been featured in the Wall Street Journal, The New York Times and more. Just recently, his new book Barking up the Wrong Tree: The Surprising Science Behind Why Everything You Know About Success Is (Mostly) Wrong was named a Wall Street Journal Bestseller.
 
  • The future is already here, it's just not evenly distributed
  • How Eric took a myth-busters approach to success maxims and figured out what really works
  • Vital importance of knowing yourself and your strengths
  • Why you need to align with a context and environment that rewards your skills
  • What really produces success? What separates the very successful from the rest of us?
  • We take a lot of the common maxims we hear that conflict about success and look at what the DATA actually says about them
  • What are intensifiers and why should you know about them?
  • When are negatives positives? How can you know when it’s important?
  • Context really reveals when and how these maxims work or not
  • Do nice guys really finish last? What does the science say?
  • Why, in some contexts, being a jerk can pay off (and when it can backfire)
  • Strategies to improve self knowledge and know yourself more deeply
  • Pursuing your passion doesn't always lead to happiness, but pursuing what you’re good at more frequently does lead to happiness
  • Research is clear - focus on what you’re good at - and find a way to compensate for your weaknesses. 
  • Understanding your strengths allows you to plan the right way to go about achieving your big picture goals
  • Deluding yourself is often worst situation of all and you frequently end up working against yourself
  • Do quitters never win? Should we quit or persevere? How do we think about Grit?
  • The vital importance of opportunity cost - we only have so much time in the day - we have to focus in on the biggest things
  • Strategically quitting is not the opposite of grit, but enables you to focus in on the most important things
  • People consistently over-commit their time and don’t understand how little time they have
  • We consistently make the error that in the future we think we will have more time
  • Find a balance - look at what’s producing results - show grit with those things - things that aren’t producing results
  • Why you should absolutely dedicate 5-10% of your time to what Peter Simms calls “little bets”
  • The key litmus test on whether or not you should apply GRIT or QUIT
  • What research reveals (Richard Wiseman in the UK) on how you can improve your luck!
  • How do we “walk the tightrope” between confidence and delusion? How often should we “believe in ourselves”?
  • Confidence as a whole is a problematic paradigm, confidence follows success, it doesn’t lead to success - it has NO effect on outcomes, only impact on trying to build confidence is that it increases narcissism 
  • Confidence is often either delusional (detached from reality) or contingent (which can crash your self esteem)
  • Self compassion provides all the benefits of self confidence with none of the drawbacks
  • How to change the way you talk to yourself and cultivate self compassion
  • The simplest and easiest cure for the “plague” of procrastination you can use right now!
  • The more you work, if you’re actually doing deliberate practice, the better you do
  • What’s more important HUSTLE or work life balance?
  • There is an, essentially linear, relationship between time and skill development
  • 10,000 hours alone is proof of nothing - its all about deliberate practice - our current understanding of skill development is grossly oversimplified
  • Difference between obsession and passion?
  • In living a truly successful life - relationships, alignment, and fulfillment are essential
  • And much more!
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How To Demolish What’s Holding You Back & Leave Your Comfort Zone with Andy Molinsky

August 17, 2017
In this episode we discuss why people struggle to reach outside their comfort zones – and why it’s so critically important that you do, we explore the 5 core psychological road blocks stopping people from stepping outside their comfort zones, we go deep on how you can become tougher, more resilient, and embrace discomfort, how you can master the art of small talk, what you need to do to cultivate the skill of “global dexterity” and much more with Dr. Andy Molinksy.
 
Dr. Andy Molinsky is a professor of Organizational Behavior and Psychology at Brandeis University. Andy is the author of Reach: A New Strategy to Help You Step Outside Your Comfort Zone, Rise to the Challenge and Build Confidence, as well as Global Dexterity: How to Adapt Your Behavior across Cultures without Losing Yourself in the Process. He has been featured in Inc., Psychology Today, The Harvard Business Review, and was named one of LinkedIn’s Top Voices for 2016.
 
We discuss:
 
  • Lessons from interviews with students, teachers, police officers, rabbis, priests, entrepreneurs, goat farmers - and the common lessons of WHY people struggle to step outside their comfort zones
  • Why do people struggle to reach outside their comfort zones?
  • The vital importance of stepping outside your comfort zone
  • The 5 core psychological road blocks / challenges that make it hard to step outside our comfort zones
    • Authenticity/Identity/Self image
    • Likability
    • Competence
    • Resentment
    • Morality
  • Imposter Syndrome and how it can trap you in your comfort zone
  • Our “amazing capacity” to avoid discomfort and seek relief
  • What happens when people avoid uncomfortable situations
  • How we can often create imperfect substitutions for situations we want to avoid
  • How our minds rationalize excuses so that we can avoid uncomfortable things
  • “Fear is about predicting the future” and we are often poor predictors of our own futures
  • If you want to achieve your goals you usually have to step outside your comfort zone
  • Specific tactics and strategies you can use to step outside of your comfort zone
  • How conviction can help you step outside your comfort zone and push you
  • Customizing and tweaking situations to make them slightly more bearable can help you take that first step
  • The danger of “catastrophizing” and always assuming the worst case scenario
  • The power of clarity and getting clear on the truth about what you want, and what the worst case scenarios are
  • How we can build resilience and make the pursuit of discomfort stick
  • The power of a learning orientation and growth mindset to give you the ability to step outside your comfort zone
  • Stepping outside your comfort zone starts in your mind
  • The power of desensitizing yourself to things outside your comfort zone, and what happens when you continue to have experiences outside your comfort zone
  • How to deliver bad news to people, fire someone, and have tough conversations
  • The dysfunctional conversations that might arise if you don’t know the right way to deliver bad news
  • The vital importance of mastering the art of small talk & strategies for mastering small talk
  • Why every meaningful relationship you’ve ever had (other than family) started with small talk
  • Focus first on building camaraderie and rapport, then trust
  • Listening, making connection, asking questions in an open ended way
  • Developing global dexterity and learning to act outside of your cultural comfort zone
00:0000:00

Simple Strategies You Can Use To Persuade Anyone with The Godfather of Influence Dr. Robert Cialdini

August 10, 2017
In this episode we discuss an old trick palm readers use that you can leverage to get people to do what you want, why persuasion does not lie just in the message itself, but rather in how the message is presented, what the research reveals about why the context matters as much, if not more, than the content itself, why you shouldn’t ask people for their opinion but instead ask someone for their advice, how small differences that seem trivial make a HUGE impact on human behavior, and much more with Dr. Robert Cialdini.
 
Dr. Robert Cialdini is the president and CEO of Influence at works. He is the multi best selling author of Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion, and his latest book Pre-Suasion: A Revolutionary Way To Influence and Persuade and he is currently a regions professor eremites of psychology and marketing at the Arizona State University . Commonly referred to as “The Godfather Of Influence” Robert’s work has been featured around the world with clients such as Google, Microsoft, IBM, The Department of Justice, and more.
 
We discuss:
  • Research reveals that getting you to pay attention to something doesn't just reveal who you are, it makes you who you are
  • How small differences that seem trivial make a HUGE impact on human behavior
  • Why most people don't’ recognize the subconscious priming of pre-suasion
  • Lessons from Dr. Cialdini's time as an amateur palm reader
  • How researchers boosted their response rate from 29% to 77.3% with one simple question
  • Can a photo change your ability to solve problems more effectively?
  • How you can create a state of mind in your recipient that is consistent with the message you’re about to give
  • How getting people to reflect on a particular trait that they might have can prime them to respond to what you want them to do
  • How you can get people to think of themselves as whatever you want them to be
  • This one trick palm readers use that you can leverage to get people to do what you want
  • Persuasion does not lie just in the message itself, but rather in how the message is presented
  • "Tell me what you’re paying attention to, and I'll tell you who you are"
  • Does it matter what store you’re standing in front of if you ask a woman for her number at the mall?
  • Why Pre-suasion is "a dangerous stick of dynamite"
  • The medium is the message, the messenger is the message, and the multitude is the message - the true power of authority and social proof
  • What does the United Kingdom’s tax policy have to do with creating more influential communication
  • Learning what most others are doing is a message itself
  • Context matters as much as or more than content
  • How can you ethically leverage the concepts of persuasion?
  • One thing you can do to hack job interviews using this simple tactic
  • Why you shouldn’t ask people for their opinion but instead ask someone for their advice
  • Why its better to ask for $75,123.00 than $75,000.
  • Ask yourself “What is it about my message that will make it most wise for people to say yes to it”
  • Is it possible to use pre-suasion on ourselves?
  • How changing a simple image can improve your ability to solve problems by more than 48%
  • The best thing you can do to prime someone for change (the simple easy thing you can to do to get people to change)
  • And much more! 
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Can You Have It All In Career and Life? Learn the Secrets of Multipotentialites with Emlie Wapnick

August 3, 2017
In this episode we discuss what to do if you don’t know what you want to be when you grow up, we look at the concept that you only have one true calling, we learn how to become a better big picture thinkers, we look at the superpowers you can develop by being a “multi-potential-ite,” how to master rapid learning and cultivate beginners mind, the fallacy behind the phrase “jack of all trades,” and much more with Emilie Wapnick.
 
Emilie is a speaker, career coach, founder of the popular blog Puttylike, and author of the book How To Be Everything: A Guide for those who still don't know what they want to be when they grow up. Her TED talk has been 3.7 million times and translated into over 36 languages. Her work has been featured in Fast Company, Forbes, Lifehacker, and more.
  • How Emilie’s diverse interests and passions lead her down the path of creating a community of people who wanted to do more than just focus on one thing in their lives
  • What does it mean to be “puttylike”
  • Who are Multi-potential-ites and what makes them so interesting and powerful?
  • Do you have a destiny, one true calling?
  • How the industrial revolution shaped our language and understanding of “what you do” being who you are (and why that’s wrong)
  • The idea that there is one specific thing you should master is a socially reinforced illusion & narrative
  • Do you have to focus on one thing to be able to be successful?
  • The assumption that you can either be a master of one thing or a jack of all trades is fundamentally flawed
  • There are nonlinear and multi-connected and multi-faceted domains of knowledge that multi-potential-ites thrive in
  • The diminishing returns and 80/20 principle behind mastering knowledge in different domains
  • The Superpowers of Multipotentialites
    • Idea Synthesis
    • Rapid Learning (and passion)
      • Adaptability
    • Big Picture Thinking
    • Relating and translating
  • How to cultivate the ability to be a better big picture thinker
  • Pattern recognition underpins many of these super-powers
  • How to master rapid learning and cultivate beginners mind
  • The power of exploring other fields and domains and how that can bring back new knowledge to the field you’re an expert in
  • The 4 common approaches that multi-potentialites use to succeed financially in today’s world
    • The “group hug” approach - combining all your interests into one thing
    • The “slash” approach - creating separate and distinct revenue streams that you focus on fractionally
    • The “Einstein” approach - find a job that supports your true passion
    • The “Phoenix” approach - diving deep into a field, then pivoting out into something completely else
  • What you do for money isn’t necessarily more valuable than the other things you do in your life
  • Failure Celebration Week and taking the stigma away from failure
  • If you had 10 lives what would you want to be in each of them?
  • How to cultivate the variety you need in your life and career
  • The importance of getting everything out of your head and onto paper
  • And much more! 
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Discover Your Hidden Emotional Insights & What’s Truly Valuable To You with Dr. Susan David

July 27, 2017
In this episode we discuss emotional agility and how you can cultivate it, discover that beneath your difficult emotions are the signposts to the things you value most, learn how to make space for emotions and embrace a willingness to experience difficult emotions, talk about why its vital to understand the distinction that emotions are meaningful but not always correct, how you can “piggyback” your habits to create very powerful strategies to live more aligned with your values and more with Dr. Susan David.
 
Dr. Susan David is an award winning Psychologist at Harvard Medical School, co-founder of the Institute of Coaching at McLean Hospital, and CEO of Evidence Based Psychology. She is the author of the #1 Wall Street Journal bestseller Emotional Agility and has had her work featured in several publications including the New York Times, the Washington Post, and TIME magazine. Susan’s work and research have led to her consulting and working with several top organizations including the United Nations, and the World Economic Forum, and much more!
 
  • How Susan’s experience growing up in apartheid South Africa led her down the path of studying emotional resilience and agility
  • The tyranny of positivity and how it can actually harm us
  • How focusing too much on your happiness can make you less happy over time
  • How surpassing your emotions increases depression and anxiety and decreases your chance at achieving your goals
  • Beneath your difficult emotions are signposts to the things we value most
  • Research psychology reveals the power of the “amplification effect” when we push our thoughts and emotions aside
  • Emotional contagion and how the behavior of others - even people you’ve never met and who are far removed from your life, can have a huge impact on your behavior and your life
  • If someone in your social network - even if you don’t know them - puts on weight or gets divorced, you are more likely to do those things!
  • Between stimulus and response, there is a space, in that space is our opportunity for agency
  • What happens when you bottle and brood on your emotions
  • Who’s in charge, the thinker or the thought? Who’s in charge, the emotion or the person feeling them? This story, or you the person who can experience many stories?
  • What is emotional agility? How can we cultivate it?
  • How to make space for emotions and embrace a willingness to experience difficult emotions
  • Life’s beauty is inseparable from its fragility
  • Our emotions are not good are bad, they just “are”
  • Strategies for developing self compassion
  • Imagine yourself as a child approaching yourself as an adult - how would you treat that 3-4 year old who has failed, been rejected, struggled, etc?
  • We are all trying to do the best we can with the resources we have in an imperfect world - expecting perfection from yourself when the world itself is imperfect is unrealistic 
  • Emotions are meaningful, but not RIGHT (emotions are DATA not direction)
  • Its critical to cultivate space between stimulus and response
  • Emotions are important but they aren’t necessarily correct - tap into the wisdom they offer us, but don’t necessarily go in the direction they want us to go in
  • The vital importance of cultivating an “observer” view of our emotions to help us step out from our emotional reactions and create space between stimulus and response 
  • Why you should use language like “I am noticing that I am feeling X” and “I am noticing the emotion of fear”
  • Accurately labeling your emotions, digging in beyond just the surface, taps into and helps deal with negative emotions - the field of emotional differentiation
  • If I was asking the wisest person on the world for their advice on this issue - what would they say?
  • Every day we get to make a choice - do we move towards our values or away from our values?
  • Values are qualities of action and they protect us from social contagion
  • How do we discover our values?
  • “What did I do that was worthwhile?”
  • How you can “piggyback” your habits to create very powerful strategies to live more aligned with your values
  • Root out and destroy “Have To” language in your life  
  • 4 Simple strategies you can use right away to become emotionally agile
00:0000:00

A Powerful 2000 Year Old Life Hack & Creating Work That Lasts for Generations with Ryan Holiday

July 20, 2017
In this episode we discuss how our perception of reality dramatically shifts what actions we take, why you should embrace 2000+ years of wisdom to be happier and more productive, how to stop judging yourself and others based on your achievements and root your identity in something within your control, we look at how we can cultivate a more humble and resilient world view, discuss strategies for connecting with top tier mentors, and much more with Ryan Holiday. 
 
Ryan Holiday is a media strategist and writer. He is the bestselling author of over five books including The Obstacle is the Way, Ego is The Enemy, and most recently his upcoming book Perennial Seller: The Art of Making and Marketing Work That Lasts. Ryan previously worked as the director of marketing for American Apparel, working on several controversial campaigns,  before starting his own creative agency. His work has been featured in The Huffington Post, Fast Company, Forbes, and more!
 
  • Why you should understand the Stoic discipline of "perception"
  • The way in which we see the world changes how we interact with it
  • How to accept situations as they are, not as you want them to be
  • Why you shouldn't waste time figuring out how things happened, who is to blame, etc - you should shift your focus to constructively determining the next thing to do
  • “There’s no problem so bad (in space) that you can’t make it worse”
  • The challenge of perception is not making the situations in your life worse with interpretations, resentments, anxieties 
  • The story of Amelia Earhart and how you can use it to take action in the face of challenges
  • When you’re offended, when you think something is beneath you, you are projecting onto that situation something that may not be there
  • How do you react when people don’t think you have what it takes?
  • How to make yourself the most important person in a room, not by posturing, but by what you can contribute
  • How we can flip obstacles on their heads and view setbacks as opportunities
  • “What stands in the way becomes the way”
  • We have the ability with our minds to change how anything means 
  • Setbacks make some people worse, some people tough it out, other people get even better
  • What is “Stoic Optimism” and why stoicism is not a focus on the negative
  • The distinction between Being and Doing and why its so critical
  • Should you do the “right thing” even if it pisses people off, hurts your chances of being promoted, causes political infighting, and worse?
  • Many people make the choice unknowingly between being and doing - and end up one day wondering where it all went wrong
  • How do we untangle success from our identities?
  • How do we avoid the trap of judging people based on their achievements?
  • The importance of being able to measure yourself by an internal score card - and not the external score card of accomplishment and achievement
  • Focus on basing your identity on an internals scorecard that is within your control
  • Decide what’s important to you, and root it within the things you control
  • How do we anchor our identity and self worth on a more stable footing?
  • How to have a more humble and resilient worldview
  • The critical difference between stoicism vs pessimism and how to look at both sides of the coin and realizing there are no good or bad outcomes - just outcomes
  • Everything is relative and subjective - someone in the third world would kill to live the life you may think of as failure
  • The world isn’t saying “this is happening to you because its bad” its just saying “this is happening”
  • The hard work of stoicism is the practice of doing it every day
  • “The message is the marketing” and how you shouldn’t distinguish between the making and the marketing when creating something
  • Why Ryan writes so much about ancient philosophy and how you should focus on rooting your ideas in timeless principles
  • The tactics Ryan used to build a relationship with and become an apprentice of Robert Greene
  • The people who need mentoring the most often get the least mentoring
  • Do well and a mentor will find you, put in the work, show the potential, and then mentors will naturally start to show up in your life
  • How Ryan approaches the creative process and the strategy he uses to test new ideas
  • You have an idea, you test that idea, and you work on it every single day - it gets 1% better every day - and at the end it’s finally good
  • Every book should be an article before its a book, every article should be a dinner conversation before its an article
  • Most of the marketing of anything that lasts is really about the product itself
  • Strategies Ryan recommends for finding a market for our ideas or concepts 
  • Don’t create a solution in search of a problem, find problems and build solutions
  • How to uncover the problems that people are struggling with that you can help solve
  • What are needs that people have that there are currently no solutions?
  • How Ryan would start building an audience from scratch today if he had to start over
  • If you don’t collect your fans and have direct access to them - you are at risk - own your relationships with your customers and fans as much as possible
  • How Ryan deals with staying creative and productive with a new born child
  • Why Ryan hates the question of “whats the biggest struggle you’ve had to overcome”
  • Time you spend dwelling on the past (negatively or positively) is wasted time and attention
  • What Ryan journals about every morning and how he implements stoic philosophy into his life
  • And much more!
00:0000:00

The Principles You Can Use To Live An Authentic & Fulfilling Life with Jon Vroman

July 13, 2017
In this episode we discuss the dangers of “playing it safe” in life, how we can learn to celebrate more, the power of cheering on, showing up, and serving other people, how to balance the acceptance of negative emotions with amplifying the good and focusing on the positive, what it means to live life in the “front row,” lessons learned about living life from people fighting for their lives, and much more with our guest Jon Vroman.
 
Jon is the co-founder of The Front Row Foundation, a charity that creates unforgettable moments for individuals who are braving life-threatening illnesses. Jon teaches others to “Live Life In The Front Row” through teaching and inspiring others with the Art of Moment Making. He is also an award winning speaker, podcast host, and the bestselling author of his new book The Front Row Factor: Transform Your Life with The Art of Moment Making.
 
We discuss:
  • How John went from being bullied and feeling insignificant, to stepping up and living his life in the front row
  • How would you rate your contribution to the world on a 1-10 scale?
  • The dangers of “playing it safe” in life
  • What does it mean to live life in the front row?
  • The anticipation principle and how to bring the power of the future into the present moment
  • How we can learn to celebrate - bring light and attention to something, even if its something small
  • Celebration is appreciation and gratitude
  • How do you recognize or create a front row moment every day in life?
  • “What can I celebrate right now?”
  • If you can’t celebrate yourself, ask “How can I celebrate somebody else?”
  • Being in the front row is also about service, stepping up for people, and not always being the center of attention
  • The power of cheering on, showing up, and serving other people and why there is so much meaning, love, and joy in doing that
  • What does it mean to be a moment maker?
  • Recognizing the beauty and joy within a moment and noticing it, take a moment, breathe in, look around, feel it and appreciate it - recognizing what’s already there and not chasing what could be
  • Why you should ask “How can I make this special?”
  • How you can create special moments in the simplest spaces within life, turning something normal into something spectacular 
  • Why we should amplify the good so that we silence what’s not
  • The importance of accepting negative emotions and living the full range of emotions in life, the importance of being cold so you can appreciate the warmth
  • The 90% Rule - where do you want to “live” 90% of the time
  • How to re-align with what you value and live a life of making moments and celebration
  • The three things you need to live life in the front row
  • How to balance questions of acceptance/discomfrot/negative emotions with amplifying the good and focusing on the positive - focus on what state you end up at when you have the balance between those two things
  • "Proximity is power” - what thoughts, questions, and relationships are you close to that are shaping your life?
  • Questions drives our lives - what questions are we trying to answer?
  • What questions are running your mind? What different questions could be running your mind?
  • Everything we've learned about living life from people fighting for their lives
  • Life is made up of MOMENTS - how do we manage each of those moments
  • We think life will be great when we BLANK - once BLANK happens - this is NOW - this is IT - this is where its happening - managing your mind, managing the moment is the key to maximizing our lives.
  • Why I love the quote - "Alex, don’t let Mount Everest be your greatest achievement”
  • Hope is not weak, hope is not wishful thinking, hope is having a vision for the future and doing something about it 
  • How do I recognize or create a front row moment right now?
  • The best questions aren’t the ones that YOU want an answer to - its the ones that the OTHER PERSON wants an answer to
  • Why you should ask “What dream is making you come alive right now?”
  • If not you then who? If not now then when? 
  • The importance of self awareness and being honest with yourself 
  • Ask yourself what makes you come alive? Create an environment that makes you come alive
  • And much more!
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Human Innovation, Artificial Intelligence, and the Uncertain Future of Cyber Warfare with WIRED’s Kevin Kelly

July 6, 2017
In this episode we discuss the inevitable technology shifts that will be impacting our future, the second industrial revolution, the importance of having an open mind, critical thinking and seeking disconfirming evidence, we explore how to ask better questions (and why it’s so important that you do), and talk about some of the biggest technology risks with Kevin Kelly.
 
Kevin Kelly is the Senior Maverick and Co-Founder of Wired Magazine. Kevin is also the co-founder of The All Species Foundation, which seeks to catalogue and identify every living species on earth as well as The Rosetta Project, building an archive of ALL documented human language and much much more. He is a New York Times and Wall Street Journal bestselling author of several books including The Inevitable: Understanding the 12 Technological Forces That Will Shape Our Future, his work has been featured in Forbes, Smithsonian, and more!
 
We discuss:
 
  • The 12 inevitable forces that are shaping the future of humanity and our lives
  • How the physics of the “technological” terrain make tectonic technological shifts INEVITABLE and what you can do about it
  • Why cars, telephones, light bulbs, and the internet were also “inevitable"
  • Evolution keeps trying to make “minds” - is AI the next attempt?
  • How we are “cognifying" the world around us and what that means
  • How we will fill the world with a zoo of possible minds that think differently
  • AI will become a commodity like electricity - it will be a utility that anyone can get or use
  • What can I do with 1000 minds (like 1000 horsepower) working on a problem
  • The second industrial revolution and how it will impact our entire society
  • How our lack of understanding of intelligence currently hinders our ability to truly understand what makes intelligence
  • You can’t optimize every dimension - there will always be trade-offs
  • How much of today’s technology is akin to “flapping wings” versus artificial flight using fixed wings
  • The chief asset for innovation and wealth generation in this new economy is being able to THINK differently
  • How do we focus our attention in a world with such infinite possibilities of things to do and focus on?
  • How do we battle against fake news, alternative facts, and the temptation to only filter information we want to hear?
  • In the future - we may have to teach the “literacy” of filtering and understanding information as Kevin calls it “techno literacy”or “critical thinking”
  • The vital importance of being open to having your mind changed - and how travel can be a tool to do that
  • Why you should allow yourself to be challenged by other views
  • Why asking great questions will be one of the most valuable skillsets and assets in the future
  • How we can start to ask better questions right now
  • There are no dumb questions - never be afraid to ask if you don’t understand  - and then really listen for the answer
  • Why we should use lateral thinking to approach a question or challenge from a completely different angle - how we ask a question that has never been asked before
  • How you can believe you are a martian and ask questions as if you were a machine and you didn’t know all the things humans normally know
  • Don’t be afraid of obvious questions
  • Why Kevin describes himself as a “protopian” - technology produces as many new problems as it solves. Progress is real even though technology creates additional problems
  • The technology trend that Kevin Kelly is most afraid of and thinks is the biggest risk to humanity
  • What would Kevin say to someone who doesn’t  think that these technological forces are inevitable?
  • Why AI is often defined as “that which we can’t do”
  • AI is going to impact all areas of our lives - buy some AI from google tensor flow and start fooling around with it - see what happens
  • Be a tinkerer - don’t be afraid to play with and try new technology
  • And much more!
00:0000:00

The Shocking Truth About Talent & What It Means For You with Geoff Colvin

June 29, 2017
In this episode we discuss the “experience trap” and why someone who has been doing their job for 20-30 years may be no better (and sometimes worse) than someone who has very little experience, look at the shocking truth that 35 years of research reveals separates world class performers from everyone else, how “Talent” is overrated, misunderstood, and most research says it doesn’t even exist, we go deep on the critically important concept of deliberate practice, and much more with our guest Geoff Colvin.  
 
Geoff Colvin is an award winning speaker, writer, and broadcaster. Geoff holds a degree in economics from Harvard, an MBA from NYU, and is currently the the senior editor-at-large for FORTUNE. He is the bestselling author of several books including Talent Is Overrated: What Really Separates World Class Performers from Everyone Else, Humans Are Underrated: What High Achievers Know That Brilliant Machines Never Will and more. Geoff has delivered over 10,000 broadcasts on the CBS Radio Network and has been featured on Good Morning America, CNN, CNBC, and more.
 
  • The “experience trap” and why someone who has been doing their job for 20-30 years may be no better (and sometimes worse) than someone who has very little experience
  • What do surgeons, auditors, parole officers have in common with their skillsets?
  • Why the assumption that a lot of experience makes you good at something is fundamentally flawed 
  • What the very best performers are constantly doing that most people simply don’t do
  • Why going to a teacher and taking lessons is NOT enough to get better at singing (or any other skill)
  • What separates world class performers from everyone else
  • Why the concept of talent is a loaded term that most people don’t understand
  • Why the conception of “talent” as an in-born gift is a mischaracterization
  • How “Talent” is overrated, misunderstood, and why most research says “talent" simply does not exist
  • What 35 years of research and science answer exactly what explains great performance better than anything else
  • What is the concept of "deliberate practice" and why is it so vital to great performance?
  • The road to great performance is long and hard, but most importantly its available to anyone
  • Why deliberate practice is not what you typically think of when you think of practice
  • The key components of deliberate practice:
    • Deliberate practice is an activity designed especially for you, at your stage of development, at doing what you’re doing right now
    • It is designed to push you just beyond what you’re currently capable of doing
    • Can be repeated at high volume
    • The vital importance of continual feedback
  • Why high-volume deliberate practice changes the physical structure of your brain
  • As you get better, your deliberate practice must be adjusted higher
  • Why deliberate practice is neither work nor play
  • The vital importance of training and practicing just outside your realm of ability
  • How to harness deliberate practice for business & investing
    • Simulation
    • Software that lets you make these decisions at high volume
    • Create simulators that put these decisions to the test at high volume
    • These simulations have to be highly realistic and very demanding
  • How a basketball team has used the lessons of deliberate practice to achieve over 100 consecutive wins
  • “The real game is easy compared to the practice” - Practice harder than you play!
  • The Battle of 73 Easting and how the military leveraged deliberate practice to win one of the most decisive tactical victories in the modern era
  • Try to find practice “in the activity” itself when you can
  • Deliberate practice is way more work than most people are accustomed to doing, but the payoff is nearly always worth it
  • How do you reconcile the advice of “focusing on your strengths” with the fundamental conclusions of deliberate practice?
  • How do humans become and maintain economic value as robotics, software, and technology continues to replace human workers?
  • The skills of deep human interactions are some of the most high value skills in the future workplace
  • The value and importance of sensing what other humans are thinking and feeling and responding in an appropriate way
  • Why human interaction, empathy, collaboration, storytelling will become more and more important
  • Emotional intelligence is a trainable skills that can be improved
  • EQ and Emotional Intelligence is becoming increasingly valuable in our economy
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Master The Universal Skills To Become Awesome At Any Job And Succeed At Your Work with Pete Mockaitis

June 22, 2017
In this episode we discuss how to master the universal skills required to succeed at work, the counter-intuitive truth of taking more responsibility for your own mistakes, flaws, and screw-ups can help you succeed more quickly, we look at how to cultivate and create accountability in your life, challenge yourself to rise to a higher level, and become more vulnerable, we talk about the Benjamin Franklin effect, and much more with Pete Mockaitis.
 
Pete Mockaitis is an award-winning trainer focusing primarily on helping professionals perform optimally at work. He’s delivered 1-on-1 coaching to over 700 clients across 50 countries, and every Ivy League school. He currently hosts the How to be Awesome at your Job podcast which has listeners in over 150 countries and has been ranked as a top 5 career podcast on iTunes.
 
We discuss:
 
  • The importance of reading to improving your knowledge
  • The book that has had the biggest impact on Pete’s life
  • How you can transform yourself into “peak state” so that you don’t feel scared or unmotivated
  • How to master the universal skills required to succeed at work
  • Grit - what it is, why its so important, and how you can cultivate
  • The concept that had the biggest impact on Pete’s life
  • Why its so important to take a hard look at yourself and your own shortcomings
  • What to do when your paralyzed by fear in your job
  • Why Everything you’ve ever wanted is on the other side of fear
  • How to be a more effective communicator
  • “Answer first communication” and how it can transform how you speak and present
  • How “hypothesis driven testing” can make you a much better communicator
  • Why you should ask: “What things need to be true for this to be a good idea”
  • Numbers galvanize attention and focus for people listening to you
  • If you’re stressed out in your current role, you’re not ready to make the next move up
  • “The time to meet your neighbors is not when your house is on fire”
  • How to cultivate and develop better relationships
  • The power of making the ask and "ask not, have not”
  • The Benjamin Franklin Effect and how it can help you build a powerful network of mentors
  • You can achieve whatever you want in life, if you help enough other people achieve what they want in life
  • How to be courageous
  • How to ask for good feedback and how to give feedback
  • Ask for role models and ideal next steps when asking for feedback
  • Why you should never be afraid to ask for feedback and counterintuitively how demonstrating your weakensses can help you advance in your career
  • The counter intuitive truth of taking MORE responsibility for your own mistakes, flaws, and screw-ups can help you succeed more quickly
  • How to cultivate and create accountability in your life, challenge yourself to rise to a higher level, and become more vulnerable
  • What you should do when your unsatisfied with your career
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The Mental Tools Olympians, Traders, & Top Performers Use To Make High Pressure Decisions with Denise Shull

June 15, 2017
In this episode we ask can, and should, we set aside our emotions to make decisions in huge, high stakes environments (like trading)? How to channel and listen to your emotions to make even better decisions, learning from negative emotions, how historical echoes in our life create repeated behavior patterns, and much more with Denise Shull. 
 
Denise Shull is a decision coach, performance architect, and founder of the Re-Think Group. She utilizes psychological science to solve the issues of mental mistakes, confidence crises, and slumps in Olympic Athletes and Wall Street Traders. Her Book Market Mind Games has been described as “The Best of It’s Genre” and “The Rosetta Stone of Trading Psychology”. She has been featured in The Wall Street Journal, CNBC, The New York Times, and consulted on the SHOWTIME Drama series Billions as one of the inspirations for Maggie Siff’s character - Wendy Rhodes.
 
We discuss:
 
  • How Denise studied the neuroscience of emotions and unconscious thought but ditched her PHD to become a trader
  • Can (and should) we set aside our emotions in a high stakes environment like trading?
  • Why you should consciously incorporate your emotions into your decisions to make the best decisions
  • Feelings, thoughts, emotions, and physical body are all part of one integrated system and you have to think about it as an integrated continuum
  • Your psyche is trying to get important information to you by turning up the volume of your emotions
  • We should focus on finding the valuable kernel of information that our emotions are sending us
  • How do we learn from negative emotions (such as fear and anxiety)
  • Being able to differentiate between granularity of anxiety helps you process the feelings better
  • If you didn’t have some level of anxiety you would never do the preparation necessary
  • Define, as clearly as possible, the things you are afraid of, own it, connect head to stomach, and describe it with the word. (your psyche will feel like you got the message through)
  • Once your anxiety and fear feel acknowledged it naturally dissipates
  • The vital importance of journaling and being gentle and kind to yourself, to help you understand your emotions
  • Everyone has all kinds of feelings, everyone doubts themselves on some level, the top performers, hedge fund managers, and olympic athletes  - its part of the human condition
  • How can historical echoes create repeated behavioral patterns?
  • The critical period for who we are and how we relate in the world happen very early - as Freud called them “the compulsion to repeat”, and as Denise calls them “echoes” or “fractals”
  • How studying traders and their trades showed Denise that people would trade in accordance with their life stories, and the patterns and mistakes they made repeated themselves again and again
  • Negative feelings are a mechanism to look and understand the fractals from our past and exploring child hood experiences can help you uncover more about them
  • The importance of doing the historical work, digging into your childhood, asking yourself “how would I have felt” (so you can get past the filter of “oh that didn’t bother me”)
  • An amazing question you can ask yourself about past events - how would someone else have felt about that? That question helps you break past the self denial that it did hurt you. 
  • Repetitions of past mistakes are opportunities to reorganize things you weren't able to deal with in your past
  • Always ask - what would someone else think about that, how would someone else feel about this in the situation? You will often project your own feelings onto someone else
  • We primarily think that discipline will change behavior, which is not always the case
  • Feelings are the foundations of our consciousness, thoughts are built on top of that, you have a lot more leverage working on your feelings 
  • Why you can’t solve everything with your head
  • The inaccuracies of the model of the “triune” brain - no neuroscientist at the cutting edge of neuroscience believes that anymore
  • The vital importance of sleep, exercise, and cultivating your physical system as part of building mental performance
  • One of the biggest commonalities between peak performers - dedication to getting better, putting in the work and the preparation, regardless of what it takes
    • Break down all the core pieces you need to achieve your goal
    • Understand how those pieces fit together
    • Execute every piece
  • The other major commonality of peak performers - self awareness
  • How to take negative energy to use that to help you continue to prepare towards your goals
  • How a lot of people ignore the social and emotional aspects of performance despite the massive leverage available to working there
  • Why the biggest mistake high performers make is to set aside their emotions
  • Unconscious setting feelings and emotions aside by being over scheduled - overactivity / constant distraction never gives you the opportunity to understand and dig into your emotional life
  • Know your feelings without judgement, take a step to try and understand what the kernel of that feeling is
  • You, your feelings and experiences matter and you need to take time to honor them
  • And much more!
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The 3 Keys You Need To Answer Life’s Most Important Questions with Dr. Barry Schwartz

June 8, 2017
In this episode we look at how Toyota turned the worst automobile factory in America into the best without changing any personnel, we discuss the paradox of choice, paralysis by analysis and the danger of having too many choices, the vital importance of having a multi-disciplinary viewpoint to truly understand reality, ask if there are quick fixes for wisdom, and much more with Dr. Barry Schwartz
 
Dr. Barry Schwartz is a Professor at the Haas school of business at UC berkley. He has authored over 10 books including The Paradox of Choice, Why We Work, and Practical Wisdom as well as more than 100 professional journal articles. He has been featured on the TED stage, in the The New York Times, USA Today, CNN, and much more.
 
We discuss:
 
  • How Barry’s work in animal learning, following in the footsteps of BF Skinner, led him down the path of his journey
  • Why a focus on rewards and punishments is too narrow an understanding
  • The importance of multi-disciplinary work to unearth the truth and understand reality
  • How we can begin to think in a more multi-discplinary way
  • The answers to the most important questions in life are very complex, and efforts to simplify them are doomed to failure
  • The flaws in the dominant ideologies of western society in understanding and explaining why we work
  • People don’t work only for pay - here are the other reasons people work:
    • They want to be engaged
    • They want discretion and control
    • They want to be appreciated
    • They want to be challenged
    • They want to do something that has meaning
  • Why only 10% of the world’s work force is “engaged in their work”
  • How did Toyota turn around the worst automobile factory in America into the BEST factory in America without changing the work force?
  • The importance of the big 3 factors - Autonomy, Control, and Discretion
  • What has enabled the container store to be so successful
  • How focusing on improving the quality of work and creating good work can be good for the bottom line as well
  • How Aristotle defines “Wisdom”
  • How excessive management and supervision has destroyed the ability of teachers to become effective
  • How the the reliance on rules and incentives to get people to behave properly is the enemy of wisdom
  • Wisdom is learned, but it can’t be taught - the way you learn to be wise is by trying and failing
  • You learned by doing, by getting it wrong, and by correcting your mistakes
  • Trial and error, mentoring, modeling - there’s no quick fix for wisdom, you have to be in it for the long haul
  • Its OK to get it wrong
  • We go deep into Barry’s famous book The Paradox of Choice
  • Paralysis by analysis and the danger of having too many choices
  • How can we simplify our lives and avoid the paradox of choice?
  • “Good enough is virtually always good enough”
  • People who aspire to “the best” get better results, and feel worse about them, than people who are happy with “good enough”
  • Don’t be unambitious and have no standards, have high standards, but don’t feel like if you aren’t the absolute best you’re a failure
  • And much more!
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Proven Tactics For Getting What You Want & Persuading Anyone With Master Negotiator Kwame Christian

June 1, 2017
In this episode we dig into Negotiation. Why, no matter what you do, its essential to master the skill of negotiation, the barriers that prevent people like you from negotiating effectively, why the common sense rules of the real world are a fragile collection of socially reinforced illusions, the most powerful type of question you can use in a negotiation, the single biggest mistake you can make negotiating, and much more with Kwame Christian.
 
Kwame Christian is a business lawyer and owner of the Christian Law as well as the founder of the American Negotiation Institute. He also hosts the podcast Negotiation for Entrepreneurs, the top rated negotiation podcast on iTunes, where he interviews successful entrepreneurs and shares powerful persuasion techniques.
 
We discuss:
 
  • Why the majority of the conversations we have are negotiations and its a vital skill to work on and improve
  • Whether or not you’re good at negotiation, you’re still going to be negotiating on a daily basis
  • The “Three Pillars” of Succeeding at Negotiation
  • What is “offensive negotiation” & how to maximize value for yourself
  • What are the “defensive” uses of negotiation? And how you can use negotiation to avoid bad outcomes and resolve conflicts
  • How you can use negotiation to build relationships
  • How to become comfortable with asking for what you want
  • The FIRST barrier everyone faces when they negotiate
  • The SECOND barrier everyone faces when negotiating
  • Rejection therapy and how it can transform and improve your ability to negotiate
  • One question you should always ask to see how much flexibility you have
  • The common sense rules of the real world are a fragile collection of socially reinforced illusions
  • How to use framing to transform a negotiation and conversation (with concrete examples from Kwame’s work)
  • How open ended questions decrease the perceived threat of a conversation
  • How to become a “puppet master” controlling the conversation while the other party feels like they are in control
  • How to cultivate information asymmetry and get the informational advantage in a negotiation
  • How you can lead someone down a logical path where they convince themselves of what you want
  • How do you develop the skill of asking questions
  • How you can practice and improve the skillset of persuasion
  • Why curiosity is a critical component of being an effective negotiator and communicator
  • Why you need to be able to be persuaded to be able to persuade
  • Why preparation is an essential component in a negotiation
  • How, specifically, Kwame preps for a negotiation (specific checklists, questions, etc)
  • The Three Characteristics of Master Negotiators
  • How creativity fits into being an effective negotiator and why you should try to find inexpensive ways to solve other people’s problems
  • The false belief that negotiation is a zero sum game
  • Why great negotiators go out of their way to try and solve other people’s problems
  • The single biggest mistakes you can make in a negotiation
  • One of the biggest barriers to moving forward in a negotiation
  • How to build strong working relationships, with trust, and free flow of communication
  • And much more!
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Research Reveals How You Can Create The Mindset of a Champion with Dr. Carol Dweck

May 25, 2017
This episode is all about MINDSET. What is a mindset? What is the fixed mindset and how does it shape the way we act in the world, what is the growth mindset and how can it transform the way we live our lives? We look at research data from over 168,000 students, examine the mindset of champions, the dangers of blame and excuses, and much more with Dr. Carol Dweck.
 
Dr. Carol Dweck is a Professor of Psychology at Stanford University and a member of the American Academy of Arts and Sciences. She is the author of the best-selling book Mindset: The New Psychology of Success - which is one of the single most important books in shaping my life. Her work has been featured in several publications including The New York Times, Washington Post, The Today Show, 20/20 and many more.
 
  • What is a mindset?
  • What is the fixed mindset?
  • We go deep into the “fixed mindset” and how they view challenges and the world
  • What is effort and how does the fixed mindset perceive it?
  • Is effort necessary to be successful or is it a sign that you’re not naturally talented?
  • If you have a fixed mindset, how do you think about criticism?
  • Do you often “need to be right?” - and how could that need be impacting your life?
  • We examine in detail what the “growth mindset” is and what underpins its core perception of reality
  • Setbacks are welcome and setbacks are inevitable
  • This fundamental conclusion is backed by 35+ years of psychological research, hundreds of studies, and more
  • A study of over 168,000 students (the entire 10th grade population of Chile) demonstrating all of these findings 
  • Research data from everything from dating life to conflict in the middle east bears out the lessons of fixed vs growth mindset
  • What is the most effective way to recover from devastating rejections?
  • Is it possible to change your mindset?
  • How to transform your mindset and specific steps you can take to move towards a growth mindset
  • How to find the things that trigger your fixed mindset reactions
  • Discover and name your “fixed mindset persona”
  • Success as improvement vs success as superiority
  • Self handicapping and the concept that effort robs you of your excuses
  • Repairing your self esteem vs repairing your failure
  • It’s impossible to learn from a mistake if you deny making it in the first place
  • The grave danger of placing blame, making excuses, and denying failure in order to protect your self esteem
  • The mindset of a champion and how champions rise to the occasion
  • Viewing people as judges vs viewing people as allies
  • How do we reconcile the lessons of mindset with the idea that you should focus on your strengths?
  • What are the most common triggers of the fixed mindset?
    • Taking on a challenge, out of your comfort zone
    • Struggling, not making progress
    • Setback, criticism, failure
  • Strength and weakness are much more dynamic than we understand or give them credit for
  • Don think your strengths will be strengths forever if you don't work on them and grow them
  • The dangers of the self esteem movement and how it actually cultivates the fixed mindset
  • And much more!
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The Secret of How Sound Can Make You Be Happier & Achieve More with Julian Treasure

May 18, 2017
In this episode we go deep on sound – we discuss how sound changes your body and affects your heart rate, breathing, brain waves, and hormone secretions, the secret to cultivating soundscapes that make us happier and more productive, the incredible power of listening and how it can change your reality, how, like sound waves, we are all vibrating, from the smallest physical level, to the macro level, and much more with Julian Treasure.
 
Julian Treasure is the chair of the Sound Agency, a consultancy firm that advises worldwide businesses on how to effectively use sound. Julian has delivered 5 TED talks with more than 30 million views about listening, communication, and the effect sound has on the human brain. He is the author of the book Sound Business and the upcoming book How To Be Heard. His work has been featured in Time Magazine, The Economist, and many more.
 
We discuss:
 
  • Why musicians have slightly larger brains than non-musicians
  • We are all vibrating, from the smallest physical level, to the macro level
  • What is sound itself and how does it affect us?
  • How sound changes your body and affects your heart rate, breathing, brain waves, and hormone secretions
  • What sound to listen to if you have trouble sleeping
  • How sound entrains all of your bodily rhythms
  • How music and sound impacts your mood, feelings, emotions, and psychology
  • It is possible to listen to two people talking at once?
  • How ambient noise (especially human voice) can reduce your productivity by up to 66%
  • How noise can negatively change your behavior, create stress, etc
  • How noise kills 1 million health-years per year in Europe (via reduced life expectancy)
  • The secret to cultivating soundscapes that make us happier and more productive
  • The incredible power of listening and how it can change your reality
  • The underutilized sensitivity and power in the ears
  • Why it's a grave mistake to think that everyone listens the same way that you do
  • How silence is a vital part of improving your ability to listen
  • The power of 3 minutes of silence per day
  • Why open plan offices are terrible for concentration and contemplation
  • “The mixer” exercise you can perform to make yourself a better listener
  • The importance of savoring the mundane sounds around us every day
  • How you can use "listening positions” to transform how you listen
  • The difference between critical listening vs empathic listening
  • We all want to be heard, to be understood, and to be valued
  • Do men and women have different default listening positions?
  • Convergent listening vs divergent listening
  • How “RASA” can make you a much better listener
  • How truly listening to someone can be an amazing gift
  • The human voice is one of the most complex and amazing instruments in the world
  • The 4 communication channels - Reading, writing, speaking, listening
  • The way you say something is much more important than how you say it
  • The vocal toolbox and how you can use these tools to be a more effective communicator
  • Posture is a critical component in the vocal toolbox
  • The power of breath, and a simple breathing exercise we can all use
  • The registers we can use to change the power of our voice
  • The modal register 
  • How to speak from the chest
  • You want your voice to have the timbre of hot chocolate (rich, smooth)
  • How changing pace, pitch, and tone can impact how someone receives what you say and make you a more powerful communicator
  • How silence can be an incredible tool in your vocal toolbox
  • The four cornerstones of powerful speech
  • Good speaking is not about you, its about the other person
  • It all comes down to listening, fundamentally - understanding listening positions is the most important idea of all of those
  • Ask yourself “What’s the listening?”
  • How technology is starting to work more and more towards speaking and listening as skillsets 
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Integrating 50,000 Years of Human Knowledge into a Single Comprehensive Map of Reality with Ken Wilber

May 11, 2017
In this episode we dig into a massive framework for answers some of the biggest questions in life, ask if its possible to integrate 50,000 years of human knowledge into a single comprehensive map of reality, we look at the greatest good that a human being can achieve, we go deep on the path of “waking up” offered by thousands of years, hundreds of cultures, and what the clearest and strikingly similar paths to enlightenment are, we discuss how to integrate and understand the connections between art, morality, and science and much more with our guest Ken Wilbur.
 
Ken Wilbur is the founder of the Integral Institute which serves as a think tank aiming to synthesize all human experience and knowledge. He’s been called the “Einstein of consciousness”, and is the author of over twenty books with a focus on transpersonal psychology including A Brief History Of Everything, The Integral Vision, Sex, Ecology, Spirituality and more.
 
  • We dig into a massive framework for answers some of the biggest questions in life (who am I, why am I here, etc)
  • Building bigger pictures that fits all of our knowledge into a cohesive framework for understanding reality
  • Is it possible it to integrate 50,000 years of human knowledge into a single comprehensive map of reality?
  • The different paths of showing up, cleaning up, growing up, waking up
  • Most people, even experts, a completely unaware of the vast intersections of knowledge across human history and the major academic disciplines
  • The “integral” approach tries to take everything into account to provide a truly comprehensive approach to human society, life, business, ecology, politics, and more
  • The paths of “waking up” and “growing up” and why they are some of the most central and significant paths you can pursue in life
  • The two major states of consciousness that humans experience
  • Is it a misunderstanding to take ourselves as a single egoic self?
  • How every single thing and event is interwoven with the entire universe as a whole
  • What is the greatest good that a human being can achieve?
  • What is it like to have an enlightenment experience?
  • The seen self vs the seeing self? What is the observing self?
  • The synthesis of zen koans, Jesus’s teachings, and philosophy
  • The maps of “waking up” offered by thousands of years, hundreds of cultures, and what the clearest and strikingly similar paths to enlightenment are
  • All the major religious traditions describe a strikingly similar path towards “waking up”
  • Why mindfulness “resting in the witness” is the powerful path towards enlightenment
  • Religion as a mythic story that you’re supposed to agree with
  • Paths of waking up are not a “mythic story” but psychotechnologies of transformation
  • Nobody is smart enough to be wrong all the time - there has to be partial truth in almost everything that can be integrated into a holistic understanding of reality
  • The levels of human consciousness / understanding from developmental psychology 
  • The great stages of human development of society mimic the develop of individuals
  • “Waking up” and “growing up” are two very different things and you can be at different places on either of those paths
  • There is some degree of truth in virtually every approach to reality you look at, how can all of these approaches fit together, how can embrace all of them in a coherent fashion?
  • Hierarchies exist, but they don’t equate to moral superiority
  • The “big three” - the beautiful, the good, and the true (art, morality, science)
  • Is the current scientific perspective too limited to incorporate and understand deeper lessons from human history
  • Dominator heirachries and growth hierarchies - and how integral development transcends and includes the previous levels 
  • The goal of the integral approach is to put everything on the table and
  • Tracking the stages of evolutionary unfolding
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Proven Strategies of Mindfulness and Self-Compassion with Dr. Ronald Siegel

May 4, 2017

In this episode we examine how mindfulness practices developed independently in cultures across the world, discuss how evolution shaped our brains to focus on survival instead of happiness and fulfillment, we ask what is success? How do we define it? What is the failure of success? We go deep into how to practice self-compassion, and much more with Dr. Ronald Siegel.

Dr. Ronald Siegel is an Assistant Clinical Professor of Psychology at Harvard Medical School, where he has taught for over 30 years. Ronald also currently serves on the Board of Directors and Faculty of the Institute for Meditation and Psychotherapy. He is a longtime student of mindfulness meditation having authored and co-authored several books on the topic including The Mindfulness Solution, Mindfulness and Psychotherapy, and more.

We discuss:

  • Lessons about mindfulness from the Harvard medical school
  • Why did mindfulness practices spring up independently in cultures across the world?
  • You didn’t evolve to be happy (and why that’s super important)
  • How evolution shaped our brains to focus on survival and not happiness and fulfillment
  • How our minds are like Teflon for good things  & Velcro for bad things
  • Type 1 Errors and Type 2 Errors (and why our minds evolved to make way too many Type 1 Errors)
  • How evolution sculpted our brains to be incredibly concerned about social ranking and hierarchies
  • Why we focus incessantly on what other’s think about us and how we compare to other people and how that drives much of what happens in the world around us
  • The pain of “I, Me, My Mine” and how constant preoccupation with ourselves is a major cause of pain and suffering
  • When we are preoccupied with proving ourselves, it harms our connections with other people
  • What is success? How do we define it? What is the "failure of success?"
  • The major misconceptions about what will make us happy
  • The importance of connecting with others and engaging more fully in this moment
  • The dunning-Kruger effect and how it clouds our understanding of mindfulness
  • “High-resolution consciousness” and how you can create it
  • The relationship between mindfulness and thought
  • A huge amount of psychological suffering has to do with our thinking
  • Thoughts are mental contents rather than realities
  • Happiness stems from being FULLY PRESENT and ENGAGED
  • Fantasizing about future/past etc creates suffering
  • How does mindfulness relate to meditation? What’s the difference?
  • Train the mind not to push away the unpleasant experiences
  • We go through exercises explicitly design for cultivating acceptance
  • How mindfulness helps you break out of a cycle of comparison and cultivate loving self-acceptance
  • Identify the feeling states in your body and notice each time you get feelings of inflation and deflation
  • The vital importance of self-compassion
  • Feel your feelings and trust that it's OK to feel them
  • Who was the King of England in 1361? (and why it's ESSENTIAL to understand that)
  • The concepts of narcissistic recalibration and the hedonic treadmill
  • The scientific reality that everything is a wave function
  • Consciousness is a stream of experience that fluctuates up and down
  • And much more!

 

If you want to master meditation and mindfulness, listen to this episode! 

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Learning How To Learn, Sleeping Without Sleeping & Hacking Your Brain To Become A Learning Machine with Dr. Barbara Oakley

April 27, 2017
In this episode we discuss learning how to learn, meta learning, how Salvador Dali and Thomas Edison practiced the art of “sleeping without sleeping” to hack their neural systems, the concept of Chunking - what the neuroscience says about it and how you can use it to become a learning machine, why “following your passion” is not the right thing to focus, and much more with our guest Barbara Oakley.
 
Barbara Oakley is an associate professor of engineering at Oakland University in Michigan. She has been described as the “female Indiana Jones” and her research adventures have taken her from Russian fishing boats to Antarctica. She has authored several books on topics ranging from genetics to neuroscience and has a recent book called Mindshift: Break Through Obstacles to Learning and Discover Your Human Potential. 
 
We discuss:
 
-How Barbara’s journey has taken her from the Army to Russian Trawlers in the Bering Sea, to an outpost in Antarctica
-How Barbara went from a math-phobe to a professor of engineering (and what she learned along the way)
-Are you afraid of math? Why math can seem to be intimidating (and it doesn’t have to be)
-Why the emphasis on memorization as the sole basis of learning has sabotaged our efforts to learn
-How the concept of deliberate practice and why it's so important to learning
-How you can augment deliberate practice to become an even more effective learner 
-Meta learning and how you can "learn how to learn"
-The concept of chunking - what the neuroscience says about it and how you can use it to become a learning machine
-What learning an instrument can teach us about learning physics and math
-How the brain learns - and the difference between “focused mode” and “diffused mode”
-The “task positive network” and the “default mode network” within your brain
-Why you can’t be in both the “focused mode” and the “diffused mode” at the same time
-How Salvador Dali and Thomas Edison practiced the art of “sleeping without sleeping” to hack their neural systems and harness the benefits of both the “focused mode” and the “diffused mode"
-How do we strike a balance between “focused attention” and “diffused attention”?
-How you can harness learning limitations like ADHD or slow memory to your advantage
-How the difference between a race car and a hiker illustrate the difference between divergent thinking styles and strategies
-The curse of genius, why geniuses often jump to conclusi s, and have a hard time changing their minds when they are wrong
-Illusions of competence and how they can short circuit our learning attempts
-Is test anxiety real? Why do we feel anxious before a test?
-Often limiting beliefs and excuses crop up when we haven’t done the work truly trying to learn something
-How to test yourself and improve your knowledge and understanding of any topic
-How you can think about math equations as a form of poetry to more deeply understand them
-Why you should focus on distilling knowledge into the core elements and principles
-Why you procrastinate (and the neuroscience behind what happens when you do)
-The pomodoro technique and how it can help you conquer procrastination
-Why “following your passion” is not the right thing to focus on
-How testosterone impacts how women and men learn differently and why women often mistakenly don’t pursue analytical paths
-Passions can lead you to dead ends in your career, you should focus on broadening your skillset
-Why its important to be strategic about your learning
-How you can “learn too much”
 
If you want to master the art of learning - listen to this episode! 
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The Secret Science of Lies & Body Language with Vanessa Van Edwards

April 20, 2017
In this episode we discuss how school gives you zero of the social and interpersonal skills necessary to be successful in life, the best starting point for build nonverbal communication, how to read facial expression and body language to discover hidden emotions, how to become a human lie detector, the secrets super connectors use to work a room, and much more with Vanessa Van Edwards.
 
Vanessa Van Edwards is the lead investigator at Science of People, a human behavior research lab. She is a Huffington Post columnist and published author. Her work has been featured on NPR, Business Week and USA Today. She has written for CNN, Fast Company and Forbes. Her latest book, Captivate, was chosen as one of Apple’s Most Anticipated Books of 2017.
 
We discuss:
 
  • School gives you zero of the social and interpersonal skills necessary to be successful in life
  • The skills of nonverbal communication can be learned and trained
  • Between 60% and 90% of our communication is non-verbal
  • Why you shouldn’t put 100% of your eggs in the “verbal communication” basket
  • How humans give more weight to non-verbal communication
  • What is the best starting point for build nonverbal communication?
  • The importance good eye contact & a strong handshake
  • Why eye contact creates oxytocin and builds deeper connections
  • The “sweet spot” for maintaining good eye contact
  • What blind babies teach us about our facial expressions and the universality of much nonverbal communication
  • How twins separated at birth have the same nonverbal affectations
  • What are micro-expressions and why they are so important
  • The facial feedback hypothesis and how our faces create a feedback loop
  • The 7 micro-expressions that will change your life
  • Research from mental patients who lied to their doctors
  • How to read facial expression (or body language) to discover hidden emotions
  • The “fake science” myths around human lie detection
  • The statistical cues to deceit - things that liars most often do
  • Do “truth wizards” exist?
  • Average person is 54% accurate in detecting lies
  • What is baselining?
  • Encoding vs Decoding
  • What research on thousands of hours on TED Talks tells us about successful body language & the importance of congruency
  • Most people are better at decoding than encoding - start with what you are weakest at
  • We cannot cover up what we feel, focus on opportunities where you can thrive instead of places where you are merely surviving 
  • “The secrets of super-connectors,” how to “work a room” and the specific patterns they use 
  • How to be someone’s "social savior”
  • "Context conversation starters”
  • You learn ALOT about someone from a handshake
  • Handshakes produce more oxytocin than 3 hours of face to face time
  • Make the handshake equal (firmness and direction)
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How You Can Work Less & Achieve More by Mastering This ONE Key Principle with Perry Marshall

April 13, 2017
In this episode we look at what rabbit populations, craters on the moon, files on your hard-drive and the GDP of countries have in common, we discuss The power of fractals, the math of chaos theory, and what that all has to do with the 80/20 principle, How your understanding of the 80/20 is only the tip of the iceberg, how to generate 16x more leverage to achieve your goals, we go deep into sales wisdom from one of the world's top marketing consultants and much more with Perry Marshall.  
 
Perry Marshall is a trained engineer and one of the world’s most sought-after business consultants, helping clients across 300 industries by combining sales, engineering, art, and psychology. Perry is the bestselling author of several books including The Ultimate Guide To Google AdWord, 80/20 Sales and Marketing and Evolution 2.0.
 
  • How Perry went from being laid off and surviving on ramen and bologna sandwiches to becoming one of the world's top marketing consultants
  • How your understanding of the 80/20 principle is only the tip of the iceberg
  • What Fractals and Chaos Theory have to do with the 80/20 principle
  • What the pattern that Earthquakes, volcanoes, tornados and hurricanes follow has to do with marketing strategy
  • Fractals are everywhere in your life, nature, and the universe
  • The raw power of the butterfly effect
  • How the 80/20 principles rules everything in your life and business
  • “Levers within levers, within levers” and how that can shape your focus
  • Where to find the tiny hinges that swing huge doors
  • What do rabbit populations, craters on the moon, files on your hard-drive and the GDP of countries have in common?
  • How to align yourself with the 80/20 principle and harness its incredible power 
  • Do you want to live in the IS world or the SHOULD BE world?
  • If you deal with reality the way it is things become effortless
  • Once you understand the 80/20 principle, it transforms what you focus on
  • How most problems in life are a result of being on the wrong side of the 80/20 equation
  • What is “racking the shotgun?” and why is it so important
  • Don’t focus on fixing the bad 80%, focus on reproducing the successful 20%
  • One of the jobs of civilization is to mitigate the 80/20 principle
  • The world will always condition you to focus on the underperforms (the 80%)
  • You can get “A's" in six different subjects, but you’re gonna make a living in ONE
  • If you try 20 projects, the law of 80/20 says 1 should succeed!
  • Failure is OK, you only have to go get rich once
  • The 20% is 16x more leverage than the 80% that doesn’t generate results
  • Everyone is in sales in some form or fashion in their lives
  • Sales is not a convincing people process, sales and elimination process
  • First thing you should do in sales is disqualify people as quickly as possible
  • Never ask someone who can say no but who cannot say yes
  • The key questions you need to ask to disqualify sales leads
  • The story of the $2700 espresso machine
  • The 8 different modalities of selling and how you can thrive by embracing your own unique sales strengths
  • And much more!
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Your Brain on Money - Its Role in Biology, History, Life & Society with Kabir Sehgal

April 6, 2017
In this episode we discuss how you can create success by mashing two seeming unrelated ideas together, why energy is the currency of the biological world (and how that impacts the evolution of money within our society), we go deep into understanding money and its role in our lives, and we look at why you should investigate your own biases about money with Kabir Sehgal.
 
Kabir is a former a vice president in emerging markets at JP Morgan. He is the new york times and wall street journal bestselling author of the book Coined and has served as a speechwriter for the John Kerry presidential campaign, having been featured in Fortune, The Harvard Business Review, and other publications. Kabir is a CNBC contributor as well as a grammy winning producer, composer, and Jazz musician.
 
We discuss:
 
  • Creating an opera about the financial crisis
  • How you can create success by mashing two seeming unrelated ideas together 
  • The idea of lateral combination vs incremental growth and how it amplifies possibility
  • What is Money?
    • Unit of Value
    • Instrument of Exchange
    • Counting mechanism
  • Why Kabir defines money as a symbol of value
  • The neurological triggers associated with money
  • How a trip to the Galapagos islands transformed the way Kabir thought about money
  • The “biology of exchange” and how money expresses something deeply biological and rooted in evolution
  • Why energy is the currency of the biological world (and how that impacts the evolution of money within our society)
  • The rich history of money
  • Looking at financial decisions through brain scans and MRIs
  • How talking about money can change the electrical conductivity of your skin
  • Fascinating research data about how money impacts
  • How making money creates a brain state almost identical to cocaine addicts
  • What does research show gets men more excited - dead bodies, naked women, or money?
  • How your genetic composition impacts your psychology of money
  • How twin studies demonstrate people’s genetic preference for certain financial behaviors and risk profiles
  • The anthropology of debt
  • The history of bartering and how social debt was actually the first currency
  • Think of money as a measurement of debt 
  • What’s the difference between currency and money?
  • What does Genghis Khan have to do with the history of money?
  • What are Native American potlatches and what do they tell us about tipping behavior?
  • What is Soft Money, what is Hard Money, and what are the differences?
  • Does the weather impact your financial decisions?
  • What is the Soul of Money?
  • Misquoting Jesus?
  • Do Jesus and the Hindu scriptures offer the same financial advice?
  • Understanding money and its role in our lives
  • Why you should start with investigating your own biases about money
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How a Game Theory Expert Sold One Billion Bottles of Tea & What He Learned On The Journey with Barry Nalebuff

March 30, 2017
In this episode we discuss the fundamental principles of game theory, we correctly guess the answers to SAT questions - without every knowing what the question was! We look at how to use game theory in practical ways, and go deep on how a college professor and his student started a beverage company, sold a billion bottles of tea, and competed against Coke, Nestle, and other major players to become incredibly successful with our guest Barry Nalebuff.
 
Barry is a Professor of Economics and Management at Yale School of Management. A graduate of MIT, a Rhodes Scholar and Junior Fellow at the Harvard Society of Fellows, Barry earned his doctorate at Oxford University. Barry is the author of several books, an expert in game theory which he applies to business strategy, and the co-founder of Honest Tea which has been named one of America’s fastest Growing Companies
 
We discuss:
 
  • What is game theory?
  • What are the fundamental principles of game theory?
  • The difference between ego-centric and being alo-centric
  • How do you design a system that avoids death spirals?
  • Everything in life is a game
  • Barry grills me on game theory with a fascinating example
  • We crush through some SAT questions and find the correct answer - without every knowing the question!
  • We use a simple game to understand Nash equilibrium and how that explains third world development challenges and corruption
  • What is the prisoner’s dilemma and how does it apply to the real world?
  • How global warming demonstrates a multi-person prisoner’s dilemma
  • The concept of “signaling” in game theory and how Michale Spence won a noble prize studying it
  • A real world example of how signaling can be used to change outcomes getting hired
  • How to use game theory to negotiate and create the best possible outcomes
  • A concrete example of how to "divide the pie” and reach a fair and “principled” conclusion in a negotiation
  • Why its important to figure out what the pie is before you determine how to split it
  • How a professor and his student pooled their resources, started a beverage company, sold a billion bottles of tea, and competed against coke, nestle, and other major players
  • The concept of “declining marginal utility” and how that shaped the founding of Honest Tea
  • We explain why a function is maximized when its derivative is zero
  • The “Babysitter Theorem” and why it was critical to Honest Tea’s success
  • How Barry and Seth used the Lean Startup approach to launch Honest Tea
  • Would it make sense for Pepsi to release a perfect replica of Coke?
  • Barry’s advice for aspiring entrepreneurs 
    • Be radically different
    • Solve a challenging problem
    • Succeed without being copied
  • How Honest Tea prevented their business model from being copied and knocked off
  • And much more
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The Neuroscience Behind Building a Sustainable Healthy Lifestyle with Foodist Darya Rose

March 23, 2017

In this episode we discuss why dieting actually predicts weight gain over the long run, how you can build a “healthstyle” of habits that can accumulate small advantages and create a healthy lifestyle over time, how “habit loops” are formed and how you can leverage neuroscience to create habits that stick, the concept of Mindful Eating and how it can transform your relationship to the meals you eat, and more with our guest Darya Rose.

Darya Rose is a neuroscience Ph.D and the author of the book Foodist: Using Real Food and Real Science to Lose Weight Without Dieting. Darya is the creator of Summer Tomato a blog where she teaches others to form healthy food habits by combining neuroscience, mindfulness, and nutrition. She has been featured on the Today Show, Oprah, Time Magazine, and was recently named one of the 100 Most Influential People In Health and Fitness

  • How Darya dug into the science behind healthy lifestyles and what she discovered
  • How everything Darya learned about health and nutrition was wrong
  • How Darya defines “dieting” (and why that’s so important)
  • Why dieting actually predicts weight gain over the long run
  • How your current relationship with food impacts your long-term health (and how you can shift it)
  • What the “biggest loser” gets wrong about dieting and weight gain
  • Why dieting is “torture” and is “set up so that you can't’ win”
  • The psychology behind why dieters often regain weight
  • What it means to  “moralize” your food choices and why you should avoid it
  • Why you should lose weight more slowly
  • How “dieting” can confuse your hormones and negatively impact your satiety cues
  • You are the sum of your habits
  • How do you build a “healthstyle” of habits that can accumulate small advantages and create a healthy lifestyle over time
  • How “habit loops” are formed and how you can leverage neuroscience to create habits that stick
  • Why growth mindset is essential to changing your habits and living a healthy lifestyle
  • The critical importance of rewards in building habits (and the different types of rewards)
  • Rewards must be internal and innately linked to whatever you’re doing
  • “Home court habits” that you need to develop to live in a healthy place and stay there sustainably 
  • Why you should eat your veggies!
  • Why Darya says that "Sitting is the new smoking"
  • The importance of sleep and maintaining your circadian rhythms to building a healthy lifestyle
  • Why Mindfulness is a critical part of a healthy diet
  • Mindful Eating and how it can transform your relationship to the meals you eat
  • The definition of “mindfulness” - being aware of your present physical experience, thoughts, & feelings (emotional feelings in the body) and being AWARE that those are happening without judgment 
  • Why you should focus on chewing your food more and eating more slowly
  • How to battle junk food cravings
  • The importance of real food, how do define it, and how to find it
  • The 80/20 principle and how it applies to healthy living
  • Create a habit journal and recognize how the things you are doing often
  • And more!
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How To Listen To Your Emotions, Recover From Trauma, and Control Your Brain Waves with Rene Brent

March 16, 2017
 

In this episode, we discuss why you can’t out-think your emotions, the relationship between trauma and our mind/body connection, how to start listening to your emotions, the power of hypnosis, and how to drop into your body to experience what you’re truly feeling with Rene Brent.

Rene is a Certified Clinical and Transpersonal Hypnotherapist. She is the Director and Instructor of the Externship Program at the Orlando Florida Institute of Hypnotherapy. She’s also the bestselling author of How Big is Your But: Discover How To Let Go Of Blocks And Move Forward In Your Life.

We discuss:

  • How working as a trauma nurse deepened Rene’s understanding of the mind/body connection
  • How our thoughts control our body chemistry and physical reactions
  • What is hypnosis and how does it work?
  • How Rene approaches hypnosis from a science-based perspective and how hypnosis impacts your brain waves
  • The difference between alpha brain waves and beta brain waves
  • The relationship between hypnosis and flow states
  • How we can get caught in conscious thought loops that prevent us from experiencing our emotions
  • What happens when we consciously suppress our subconscious thoughts and feelings?
  • How the subconscious mind bubbles up and tries to get you to listen
  • How being very busy with your external life can prevent you from looking at your internal life
  • True joy only exists when you start experiencing emotions and listening to your subconscious mind
  • You cannot out-think your emotions, positive thinking doesn't work when you’re in a survival state
  • How something that happens in childhood can imprint a false belief that can impact you for your entire life 
  • Communication is not what you said, it's what the other person heard
  • How do you listen more effectively to your subconscious mind?
  • How to push a pause button and pattern interrupt in the subconscious brain
  • Why you cannot heal something until you bring it up from the subconscious mind
  • The power of breathing and breath exercises
  • Anxiety is not an emotion, its a symptom of fear
  • Emotions amplify when we push them down, they release when we allow them to happen
  • While you may not have words for your emotions, your physical body is your emotional GPS
  • The “felt sense” of emotion and how you feel it in your body
  • When you drop into your body, you’re actually dropping into your subconscious mind
  • If the heart is quiet and you pay attention, the mind will be still
  • The pattern of how events create beliefs, beliefs create emotions, and emotions create symptoms
  • How targeting the subconscious mind rapidly speeds up interventions
  • The power of forgiveness and working with your inner child
  • How negative self-talk is counter productive
  • Why SLEEP is the fundamental pillar of psychological wellbeing
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Find Your Dream Job, Pivot Your Career, and Take Smart Risks with Jenny Blake

March 9, 2017
In this episode we discuss what to do if you feel like you’re having a mid-life crisis every two years, the importance of staying grounded while you make big changes in your life, how to pivot your career and take “smart risks,” how to discover your strengths, and the right way to make big, exciting changes in your career with Jenny Blake.
 
Jenny Blake is a bestselling author, career and business strategist. Jenny began in the startup world and went on to work in Training and Career Development at Google before pivoting to pursue her own projects full time. Shes teh author of Pivot: The Only Move That Matters Is Your Next One: and has been featured on TED, CNBC, Forbes, US World & News, and more!
 
We discuss: 
  • What to do if you feel like you’re having a mid-life crisis every two years
  • The importance of learning, growing, and making an impact
  • How to find “pivot points” in your life and what to do when you find them
  • The importance of staying grounded while you pivot and while you make big changes in your life
  • The 4 stages of pivoting & how to take "smart risks”
  • The comfort zone, the panic zone, and the stagnation zone
  • The critical importance of finding your strengths
  • Exercises that help you truly find your strengths
  • The risk of “self assessment” strength tests and what you can do to find your strengths more effectively
  • The critical importance of bolstering your bench
  • “Frentors” and how they can create accountability and help you achieve your goals
  • How finding people who are a few steps ahead of you can help you 
  • The “perpetual newbie state” and the critical importance of learning and growing
  • Think of your career like a smartphone, not a ladder
  • Why you don’t have to know what direction you’re heading in next, but you can try many directions and double down on the ones that are working the best
  • The importance of "10% projects” and how you can find them either within your career or in entirely new spaces
  • The “15 for 30” challenge and how you can transform your options 
  • Why you should revel in what others reject
  • How someone else’s grunt work can be your area of genius
  • The “3 Es” of Testing a new idea and how they can help you pick the right direction to move in
  • How you can “flip failure”
  • How defining failure can help you overcome the fear of it
  • And much more! 
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How To Master Emotional Intelligence & Why Your IQ Won’t Make You Successful with Dr. Daniel Goleman

March 2, 2017
In this episode, we talk about Emotional Intelligence. What is emotional intelligence and why does it matter so much? How the science demonstrates that emotional intelligence matters far more than IQ, how you can develop and improve your “EQ”, how to build the muscle of focus, and much more with Dr. Daniel Goleman.
 
Daniel is a co-founder of the Collaborative for Academic, Social, and Emotional Learning. He currently co-directs the Consortium for Research on Emotional Intelligence in Organizations at Rutgers University. He is the international best-selling author of several books including Primal Leadership, Focus, and Emotional Intelligence which has been translated into over 40 languages.
 
WE DISCUSS:
 
  • What is emotional intelligence and why does it matter so much?
  • The 4 pillars of emotional intelligence
  • Is IQ or EQ more important, which correlates more with success?
  • Why IQ is more of a threshold, and EQ scales more with people’s actual results in the world
  • How the science of “competence modeling” demonstrates that emotional intelligence matters far more than IQ, the more successful you become 
  • Which of the four pillars of EQ do people struggle with the most?
  • The 3 varieties of empathy - cognitive empathy, emotional empathy, and empathic concern
  • The mental exercises you can do to strengthen certain brain circuitry required to build emotional intelligence
  • How to cultivate and strengthen emotional self control
  • What the science say about ways to strenghten the prefrontal cortext around controling your amygdala
  • The mind is a muscle and basic repetition strengthens your circuitry
  • The hard science behind how to cultivate a positive outlook
  • The ventilation fallacy and why venting your anger is actually bad for you
  • The more you rehearse an emotion, the stronger the underlying brain circuitry becomes
  • The incredible power of seeing your thoughts as thoughts and nothing more
  • How to step back and assess your thoughts by asking “Is this helpful?"
  • The power of distraction to shift your thoughts away from anxiety and depression
  • How Dr. Goleman defines FOCUS and why it's so important
  • How focus and attention are muscles and cultivating them can help strengthen your underlying brain circuitry
  • The difference between rumination and reflection - and why reflection is so important
  • How a Power Nap can restore your brain
  • How to restore your attention and focus when you find yourself at wit’s end and cannot focus anymore
  • What is PRIMAL Leadership and why is it so important?
  • Why the crucial competencies you need to develop EQ and emotional intelligence are all learned abilities
  • How to give positive feedback and constructive criticism - the right way and the wrong way - don’t attack the PERSON - don’t trigger the negative circuitry, trigger a positive outlook 
  • Why managing your own negative emotions is the FIRST STEP towards cultivating emotional intelligence
  • Step back from your thoughts and ask yourself - is this useful? Cultivate self-awareness
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Are Babies Racist? Is Empathy Bad for Society? And More with Dr. Paul Bloom

February 23, 2017
In this episode we start with a dive into evolutionary psychology and how biases have been programmed into you by millions of years of evolution, look at why our guest condemns the concept of Empathy, how the science demonstrates that empathy has no correlation with doing good in the world, how empathy creates disastrous outcomes, and more with our guest Dr. Paul Bloom


Dr. Paul Bloom is a Professor of Psychology and Cognitive Science at Yale University and received his PhD from MIT. Paul is the coeditor of the journal Behavior and Brain Sciences and author of several books including Just Babies: The Origins of Good and Evil, and most recently Against Empathy: The Case For Rational Compassion.
 
  • We dig into Paul’s research on babies and their innate sense of right and wrong
  • A surprising and extremely powerful source of bias that babies innately have
  • The in-group vs out-group and how babies slice up and divide the world
  • How dividing a group by coin flips can create serious behavioral biases towards your own group
  • Evolutionary psychology and how biases have been programmed into you by millions of years of evolution
  • The morality of evolution and how kindness evolved 
  • How people, from an evolutionary point of view, think about strangers
  • The definition of empathy and how Paul defines it
  • Why Paul criticizes the concept of empathy
  • Why feeling the feelings of others is a really lousy moral guide
  • Why the science shows that empathy has no correlation with how much good people do in the world
  • What happens when soccer fans see someone shocked and how they're brains respond completely differently if its a fan of their team vs their opponents team
  • How our natural empathy response is riddled with extreme bias
  • How empathy creates disastrous political outcomes
  • The "Willy Horton incident" and how the empathic response resulted in more rapes and murders
  • Why Paul says controversially that mass shootings are objectively less than a rounding error
  • Why being against empathy doesn't mean we should turn into cold blooded monsters
  • The distinction between empathy and compassion and why its so critical
  • How Buddhist philosophy lead Paul to move away from empathy and towards compassion
  • Why its so critical to be aware of your biases before you can shift them and overcome them
  • Why we are more than just our biases and limitations
  • Pauls vision for the human future and how an awareness of our biases is critical to build a future where rational and logical thinking can move us to a better future
  • And more!
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The Paradox of Happiness - Why Pursuing It Makes You Less Happy & What You Can Do About It with Dr. Tal Ben Shahar

February 16, 2017
In this episode we discuss the paradox of happiness - why pursuing it makes you less happy, and what you can do about it, we dig into the research about what really makes people happy, we break down happiness into its essential components and discuss how to cultivate it, we look at the interaction between stress and recovery and why most people look at it the wrong way, why active acceptance and surrender is critical to processing and dealing with negative emotions and much more with Dr. Tal Ben Shahar.
Dr. Tal Ben Shahar created the most popular course in Harvard University’s history, he is the best-selling author of several books including The Pursuit of Perfect, Happier, Choose The Life You Want, Even Happier. He’s also the co-founder and chief learning officer of The Wholebeing Institute, Potentialife, Maytiv, and Happier.TV.
 
We discuss:
  • What science shows is the The #1 Predictor of Happiness
  • How the direct pursuit of happiness can actually prevent you from being happy and makes you less happy
  • One of the most robust findings in the field of psychology research is about what creates happiness
  • The paradox of happiness - why pursuing it makes you less happy, and what you can do about it
  • Why the expectation that you should be happy all the time is a barrier to your own happiness
  • The “hamburger model” and how it can transform the way that you live your life
  • The lens that we can use to understand all of our “happy” experiences
  • How Tal defines “happiness” as the intersection of meaning and pleasure
  • We discuss what The BEST predictor of your future behavior is
  • Why awareness is a critical first step to cultivating happiness
  • We dig into the research about what really makes people happy
  • Why money has very little to do with happiness (according to the research)
  • The vital importance of cultivating healthy relationships
  • We discuss the blue zones where people live the longest in the world and why these people live longer than anyone else
  • The critical importance of physical exercise on your psychological wellbeing
  • How to trigger a release of the “feel good” chemicals in your brain (norepinephrine, dopamine, serotonin)
  • How happiness helps you be healthier, more creative, gives you more energy, and makes you more productive
  • Strategies for indirectly pursuing happiness
  • We break down happiness into its essential components and discuss how to cultivate it
  • The only 2 types of people who do not experience painful emotions (are you one of them?)
  • What happens when we try to suppress negative emotions 
  • How experiencing and accepting negative emotions can paradoxically improve your happiness 
  • Why active acceptance and surrender is critical to processing and dealing with negative emotions
  • How perfectionism can create self sabotage and unhappiness
  • The critical distinction between healthy perfectionism and unhealthy perfectionism
  • The vital importance of accepting criticism and how refusing to accept criticism hamstrings you
  • Adaptive vs maladaptive perfectionism and why its important to know the difference 
  • (Once again) Meditation and how important it is
  • The interaction between stress and recovery and why most people look at it the wrong way
  • Why stress isn’t bad and in fact can be very good for - but with a very important caveat 
  • How the concept of weight lifting can help us better understand and manage stress in our lives
  • How recovery is vital to your productivity, health, and happiness
  • How long periods of recovery are an investment in your future growth
  • The power of breath and how it is an incredibly impactful mind/body intervention to reduce stress and anxiety
  • The vital importance of rituals and how you should build them into your day
  • “We first make our habits, then our habits make us.”
  • We walk through Tal’s powerful daily ritual and how you can harness it to change your day
  • How self forgiveness and self compassion can transform your life and emotional experience
  • And much more!!
 
If you want to live a happier life - listen to this episode! 
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Do Neuroscience and Quantum Physics Disprove the Existence of Free Will? With Dr. Alfred Mele

February 9, 2017

In this episode we go DEEP on free will. Does free will exist? How does quantum physics impact the existence of free will?  We look at the neuroscience behind the concept of free will, and look at whether conscious decision-making exists at all or all of our decisions arise within the subconscious with Dr. Alfred Mele.

Dr. Alfred Mele is a Professor of Philosophy at Florida State University. He is also the Director of the Philosophy and Science of Self-Control Project and previous director of the Big Questions in Free Will Project (2010-2013). Mele is the author of over 200 articles and ten books including “Free Will & Luck”, “Self Deception Unmasked,” and “Free: Why Science Hasn’t Disproved Free Will."

  • We do deep on the definition of Free Will and what it means
  • Do you have free will?
  • Dr. Mele’s “gas station” model of Free will and what it means
  • What is “deep openness” and does it underpin the existence of free will?
  • The concept of determinism and whether or not it is compatible with the idea of free will
  • How quantum physics shapes the physical reality of free will
  • Philosophical concept of dualism and how it interacts with the existence of free will
  • Does your environment impact your ability to have “free will” and make independent decisions?
  • Does science leaves open the possibility for free will to  exist?
  • We go deep into the actual neuroscience experiments that test whether or not we have free will
  • We get into the millisecond readings of EEGs that show how the brain’s decision making works to determine whether or not our decisions are truly free
  • We explore type 2 readiness potential and why its so critical to understanding whether or not we have free will
  • Where the evidence lands in terms of the neuroscience of free will
  • Does your unconscious rule your mind or can you consciously make free decisions?
  • Does your environment and upbringing predetermine your decisions?
  • Does moral responsibility exist in a world without free will? 
  • How do we handle questions of moral responsibility if free will doesn’t exist?
  • How do people behave when they dont believe they have free will?
  • Why 94% of University Professors rated themselves as above average professors
  • Why 25% of High School Students rated themselves in the top 1% of their ability to get along with others
  • We discuss the concept of Self Deception and how to combat it
  • And much more!
 
If you’ve always wondered about Free Will - listen to this episode! 
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How to Crush Fear, Overcome Anxiety, and Reprogram Your Life For Success with Justin Stenstrom

February 2, 2017
In this episode we discuss the 8 step process for overcoming anxiety and conquering your fears, how to stop a panic attack in real time, how you can tap into your subconscious mind and reprogram it, how to get deeper sleep, the power of hypnosis, and much more with Justin Stenstrom.
 
Justin is a nationally acclaimed life coach, author, entrepreneur, and speaker. He is the founder of EliteManMagazine.com, the host of the Elite Man Podcast. Justin’s work has been featured in the Huffington Post, Lifehacker, Maxim, and several other publications. 
 
We discuss:
  • How Justin overcame major depression, anxiety, and panic attacks to achieve his dreams
  • How Justin went from 3-4 panic attacks per week, suicidal thoughts, to living a healthy and happy life
  • Why Justin views his struggle with depression and anxiety was a blessing in disguise
  • Justin’s 8 step process to overcome anxiety and conquer your fears:
    • #1 - Realize that you’re not going crazy and there are a lot of solutions
    • #2 - Do a combination of meditation, yoga, hypnosis
    • #3 - Live in the present, future focus builds up a lot of anxiety, living in the past creates depression
    • #4 Exercise 4-5x per week, backed by substantial research
    • #5 Improve your sleep
    • #6 Improve your diet
    • #7 Take the right supplements
    • #8 Use the 3 step technique to crush panic attacks
  • The incredible 3 step process for dealing with a panic attack right now
  • How hypnosis can be an incredibly powerful intervention for dealing with anxiety and how you can hypnotize yourself
  • Why hypnosis is so powerful, because it speaks directly to your subconscious mind
  • How to tap into your subconscious mind and reprogram it
  • The “trance” state between sleep and waking
  • Practical tips for cultivating a healthy and deep sleep environment
  • How to condition your mind for deeper sleep
  • Why Cell phones and TV before bed are one of the worst things you can do
  • How to stop yourself from hitting the snooze button
  • The ideal temperature to sleep
  • Why having a midnight snack might be really good for you
  • Should you wake up in the middle of the night and work?
  • Dietary interventions to deal with depression
  • “This is how you ride a roller coaster”
  • The power of facing your fears head on and exposing them for what they are
  • Why you should challenge your fears and ask for more of it
If you want to crush anxiety and fear, listen to this episode!
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Pride: Why The Deadliest Sin Could Hold the Secret to Your Success with Dr. Jessica Tracy

January 26, 2017
In this episode we discuss PRIDE – and why it may not be the deadly sin that it’s often cracked up to be. We dig into how the research defines pride, examine the critical distinction between self esteem and narcissism, the deep importance of being able to accept criticism, and look at the difference between strategies of dominance and strategies of prestige with Dr. Jessica Tracy. 
 
Jessica is a professor of psychology at the University of BC where she also directs the Emotion and Self Lab. She is the author of Take Pride: Why The Deadliest Sin Holds the Secret to Human Success. She has published over 80 journal articles, book chapters, edited volumes, and reviews, and her groundbreaking work on pride has been covered by hundreds of media outlets, including ABC’s Good Morning America, NPR’s All Things Considered, the New York Times, the Economist, and Scientific American.
 
  • How Jessica defines Pride in a way that may shock you
  • How pride can also be positive
  • The two different kinds of pride experiences 
  • How one type of pride is linked to tons of positive outcomes (and the other has severe downsides)
  • The critical distinction between self esteem and narcissism
  • The truth about what narciststs and hubristic people feel deep down
  • We dig into research studies show about how people with narcissism deal with criticism 
  • The critical importance of being able to take criticism 
  • Why not being able to take criticism is a huge red flag for hubristic pride
  • We discuss Paul Eckman’s research on the universality of emotions
  • The expansive and visually apparent physical display of Pride and how you can recognize it
  • The fascinating finding from studying blind olympians and how they demonstrate pride
  • How pride can be a huge positive motivator to make you want to succeed
  • We dig into a number of specific research examples from Dr. Tracy’s research
  • How your emotions are “adaptive” and what that means
  • The adaptive benefits of pride and how it helps you achieve status
  • The critical difference between prestige and dominance 
  • We discuss whether a strategy of dominance or a strategy of prestige is more effective in creating the results you want
  • Would you rather be loved or feared? (we answer that)
  • We discuss President Donald Trump and how his strategy of dominance caught many people by surprise and serve as a fascinating real life case study of Dr. Tracy’s research
  • We discuss the concept of “self conscious emotions”, what they are, and why they are important
  • We discuss some of Dr. Tracy's research about shame 
  • Why its better to be guilty than ashamed
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Artificial Intelligence, Cryogenics, & Procrastination with Wait But Why’s Tim Urban

January 19, 2017
In this episode we discuss what Elon Musk, Bill Gates, Stephen Hawking all consider the single greatest threat to humanity, why “death” is not binary event that makes you transition from being alive or dead at a specific moment in time, we ask if you would spend $1000 on a chance to live forever, we look at the biology behind cryogenics, vitfrication, and putting your body on biological pause, and we explore why poverty, climate change, war, and all our problems melt away in the face of one massively important issue with our guest Tim Urban. 
 
Tim Urban is the creator of Wait But Why and has become one of the most popular writers on the internet with fans such as Maria Popova, Sam Harris, and Elon Musk.
 
His content has become so popular that according to Fast Company he has “captured a level of reader engagement that even the new-media giants would be envious of” with an average of over 1.5 million unique readers visiting and engaging on Wait But Why each month. 
 
We discuss:
  • Tim’s story and how he got started with Wait But Why
  • How Tim writes about everything from the human condition, to the universe, the future and huge technology trends
  • How Tim becomes a mini-expert in tons of different fields
  • How Tim overcomes massive procrastination to achieve his goals 
  • The interplay between “The Rational Decision-Maker”, “The Instant Gratification Monkey” and "The Panic Monster”
  • The vital importance of "important but not urgent" activities 
  • Tim’s struggle with perfectionism
  • The importance of creating accountability to overcome procrastination 
  • What Elon Musk, Bill Gates, Stephen Hawking all consider the single greatest threat to humanity
  • Why Artificial Intelligence is the single most defining issue facing humanity
  • Are you smarter than a computer?
  • The difference between “narrow” artificial intelligence, “general” artificial intelligence and artificial “superinteliigence"
  • What happens when artificial intelligence develops the ability to improve itself?
  • Why the AI revolution is inevitable and will take place within the next 20-40 years
  • Why poverty, climate change, war, and all our problems melt away in the face of artificial superinteligence 
  • The battle between instant gratification and long term planning - how it relates to procrastination and AI
  • Why the notion that cryonics is the act of “freezing” “dead people”is fundamentally wrong on several levels
  • Why “death” is not binary event that instantly transitions you from being alive or dead at a specific moment in time
  • The biology behind cryogenics, vitfrication, and putting your body on biological pause
  • Would you spend $1000/year for a chance to live forever?
  • “The truth is, involuntary death sucks”
  • The body is just a physical object that can be upgraded and replaced
  • And much more!
 
If you love exploring relevant and highly fascinating scientific topics - listen to this episode! 
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The Hard Truth About Psychology, Learning New Skills, & Making Mistakes with Dr. Art Markman & Dr. Bob Duke

January 12, 2017
In this episode we discuss whether time speeds up as we get older, why your life story only makes sense looking in reverse, whether or not brain games actually work, the importance of proactive learning instead of passive learning, why psychology confirms all your worst fears about studying and getting smarter – and much more with a special TWO GUEST interview featuring Dr. Art Markman & Dr. Bob Duke!
 
Dr. Art Markman is a Professor of Psychology and Marketing at the University of Texas and Founding Director of the Program in the Human Dimensions of Organizations.
 
Dr. Bob Duke is a Professor and Head of Music and Human Learning at The University of Texas at Austin, He also directs the psychology of learning program at the Colburn Conservatory of Music in Los Angeles.   

Together they co-host the NPR radio show Two Guys on Your Head and recently co-authored the book Brain Briefs.

We discuss:

  • Does time speed up as you get older?
  • Why your brain pays less and less attention to things that don’t change 
  • How you underestimate the power of new experiences to have a positive impact on on you
  • Brains are efficient, and efficient is another word of lazy
  • Why your brain wants to keep doing what it did last time
  • How Dyson vacuums where created (and what saw mills have to do with it)
  • The importance of learning things that seem like they “don’t matter” right now
  • The downside of a linear and close minded path of achievement
  • Why “everyone they know who is successful knows ALOT about ALOT of things” and you can’t know ahead of time what key information will make you successful
  • Why you shouldn’t edit your life story in the forward direction (and what that means)
  • Is your memory doomed to fail?
  • Why one of the worst things you can do for your memory is to worry about your memory!
  • Do brain games actually work?
  • How do you engage the mind a way that develops thinking?
  • The difference between reading and writing and how they impact your brain
  • The importance of proactive learning instead of passive learning
  • What the data says about regret and how to deal with it
  • How learning is effortful when it actually works, and why without effort, there is very little learning
  • Is it true that we only use 10% of our brains?
  • Your brain is 3% of your body weight, but uses 25% of your daily energy supply
  • Does listening to Mozart make you smarter?
  • Why we can’t get something for nothing (and why you should stop looking for “get smart quick schemes”)
  • Why psychology confirms all your worst fears about studying and getting smarter
  • How curiosity is vital to your thinking ability
  • Why its OK to get stuff wrong, as long as you repair your error
  • Why every bit of skilled performance that you see has a deep reservoir of hard work hidden behind it 
  • The critical importance of perception and self awareness in growing and improving
  • Why you are worst at judging your performance when you are bad (isn’t this one true!)
  • Why “expert performers” are really good at identifying all of their flaws
  • How to cultivate self awareness of your flaws in a way thats non-threatening to you and your ego
  • Mistakes are not the problem, but denying them is
  • The critical importance of sleep
  • How sleep clears toxins out of your brain, helps you form better memories, learn more, etc
  • Think about what has brought you joy, what brings you joy, and schedule those things into your life regularly
 
If you want to master your mind - listen to this episode! 
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